A King"s Wife

Chapter -27 - Gulf of insecurities

Mallya Swami "s Ashram

" Relax! Calm! Calm your nerves. Think about those faces that give you happiness and love, desire to live and laugh! Try to calm your nerves and concentrate on them.

Mallyaswami pressed his temples from behind. He massaged his shoulder and back. Try to concentrate  Vansh!.

Vansh shut his eyes tightly.

Blood, dead bodies, whining of helpless people and wailing of the hyenas flashed in front of him. There was pitch black darkness in front of him. He could only realize its sensation but it felt it was intangible. It seems his loved ones -Nanda,Vidyut, Guruji and Riddhima are going far and far away from him. He is trying his level best to grab them, hold their hands, but it seems their  hands are slipping out from his clutches.

"What do you think of Gurudev? I have not tried. I have been doing this daily since the age of 15. This is not going to work.

I have not slept for two and a half days. It's not that I am not used to it. you know I am able to control sleep for longer hours than that. But it seems peace has left my life again. Only when I am in Rudra Bhawan , situation seem bearable."

" What about Ranisaye...said Mallyaswami pressing his shoulders gently.

"Her presence makes my inner demons checked. True! that"

Vansh smiled at her mentioning.

" So while meditating remember her face! Don't let those bad thoughts dominate you. You are a Suryavanshi, You are Kshatriya, You will be the future ruler of Udaykhtra. You cannot let such negative things dominate you. Can you?" asked his Gurudev.

I tried everything Gurudev! I intimidated, scolded, expressed love, to her but not a single maneuverance worked in my favour. On the contrary,while doing so, I fell in love with her"

Mallya Swami is the only one where he can go unguarded with his feelings.

Do you regret loving her?" asked Mallyaswami, smiling.

"No Gurudev! definitely not! This is the most beautiful feeling I have ever felt for any woman like this before. I cannot afford to lose her  Gurudev. Initially I thought she had some hidden motive that might harm me and my province, but later I realized that she is a pure soul and she is protecting Rajkumari Ragini. I have dealt with betrayers since I was a boy. I know she is not betraying. That is exactly why I cannot lose her Gurudev!"  said he..

'That is the reason, You didn't tell her the truth? asked Mallyaswami.

"She is only 19. Gurudev!
She will be scared when she gets to know my secret, Gurudev! She might walk away from me! His heart ached as if it was sliced brutally by the mere thought.

Vansh! Mallya Swami sighed.
"Don't you think you are too clogged with your affection that you are underestimating her.
If you have the legit right to know hers. Don't you think she also has the equal right to know yours?" She is your wife. She will spend an entire life with you. If she is unaware of your secrets, how come she will grow as a wife and how will she become a queen? Vansh fell short of his words in front of his mentor's rational questioning.

Destiny and Mahakal have chosen her for you. It's her duty and right to know  about you as much as you do.

Did you find any information about Ragini? asked Mallyaswami, as he found Vansh a little bit relaxed.

I have sent Manivhadra Gurudev! But till now, there is no substantial news about her.

Why do you think they changed places on their wedding day? Mallya Swami wanted to test if Vansh really had figured out the reason.