Memories of a Sleepy Boi Family

Police bois

Tommy; 13, Wilbur; 15, Technoblade; 17. 

Feel free to take this idea. Make a Technoblade song and call it Technobalade. Then let me know you made it because, I want this to exist!

"Mr. Minecraft?"

"Yes."

"Your sons are down at the police station. Please come pick them up."

Philza sighed. He'd been waiting for a phone call like this for a long time now. His boys together were a recipe for disaster. "I'll come get them," he promised.

Phil got into the car and drove down to the police station. There were his three boys, in all their glory, sitting waiting for Phil to come get them. "What did you do this time?" Phil asked.

"Ay! Big Man! Thanks for picking us up!" Tommy said with a wide grin. Techno looked passive and Wilbur at least had the nerve to look sheepish.

"I'll take care of them from here." Phil muttered to the officer.

"If they get picked up again, they're going to juvie." she warned.

"Yeah... okay. I'll make sure they learn."

He led his three boys out into the car. They all filed in and Phil did his favorite tactic, wait.

Tommy, of course, broke the silence. "Phil... we didn't-"

"I know." Phil cut off.

"We're sorry." Wilbur added.

"I know mate." Phil repeated.

"You gotta give you something to work with." Techno deadpanned. "We were just trying to help."

"I don't have to do anything. What happened?" Phil asked.

"Some dipshit was beating up Tubbo!" Tommy yelled. Figured. Techno and Wilbur especially wouldn't go beat up a kid for no reason. "So we had to kill him."

Phil sighed. "Tommy, I swear- never mind. The point is, I don't care how mad you are, you're not allowed to put someone in the hospital."

"Unless we get away with it." Wilbur murmured.

"Yes, then have at it." Techno said with a straight face.

That broke Philza. He started cracking up. "No!" he gasped. "No, don't send anyone to the hospital ever! Alright?" he looked back at the three nodding faces.

"Unless you can get away with it." Techno replied.

"Techno!" Phil chastised again. "Never, never, again. Do you boys understand?"

The three boys nodded.

Phil sighed. "Are any of you hurt?" he asked.

The clamor of voices from the back as the three told on each other. "Wilbur's nose was bleeding." "Techno got punched in the stomach." "Tommy you were limping." "My nose is fine, snitch." "And I'm fine too." "I WAS NOT! Imma big man! Big man Tommy Innit." "Okay gremlin child." "I AM NOT A GREMLIN CHILD!" "Ow! Tommy!" "Ay! PHIL!"

Phil started laughing at how a simple question could create so much chaos. Inwardly, he knew he'd already done a visual check up and noticed the dried blood and slightly swollen nose Wilbur had, and how Tommy had limped to the car. He, however, wouldn't have known to check Techno for bruises and/or swelling.

"Alright, alright. Enough. Since, technically, you guys were defending a friend, which is, technically, a good cause, I won't ground you, since you've all been hurt. But if you, ever, do that again I will ground you until you're sixty. I mean, come on! You guys got arrested!"

"Only cause Techno wouldn't stop trying to fight the kid." Wilbur added. "We could have been restrained.

"No one touches my siblings." Techno answered simply.

"AWWWWWWWWWWWW YOU LOVE US!" Tommy shouted. "YOU LOVE US! YOU LOVE US! YOU CARREEEE!"

Techno elbowed him in the ribs and Tommy yelped. "Did you get hit there too?" Phil asked.

"I fell." Tommy confessed. "I got hit everywhere."

Phil rolled his eyes, running a hand through his hair. "You are such a little gremlin," he muttered.

"I AM NOT A GREMLIN!"

Wilbur removed his hands from his ears. "Awwww. It's okay. Is the little child upset?"

"I AM NOT A FUCKING CHILD WILBUR SOOT MINECRAFT! IMMA BIG MAN!"

Wilbur put his hands up. "Okay! Okay." he said.

"Alright, who taught the child the fuck word?" Techno said teasingly.

"The fuck word." Phil repeated, laughing.

"Hey, you always say the f word." Wilbur said. "He picked it up."

Tommy started laughing. "He censored it! What's wrong with the fuck word? I fucking love the fuck word!"

"Say fuck Wilbur." Techno teased.

"Yeah, Wilbur. Say fuck."

"I would but there's little children in the car. I wouldn't want them to learn that that kind of foul language is okay." Wilbur said perfectly innocent.

Techno's laughter and "Bruhhh." could barely be heard over Tommy yelling. "I AM NOT A CHILD! I AM TWO YEARS YOUNGER THAN YOU! I'VE BEEN IN PRISON! IMMA BIG MAN!" Tommy lunged at Wilbur, over Techno.

Phil almost drove the car off the road. He was laughing so hard. "Techno, keep Tommy from slapping Wilbur!"

"Sure, I'd love to see Wilbur get slapped."

"AY!"

"Wrong answer, try again."

"I will stop Wilbur from getting slapped." Techno muttered, pulling Tommy off Wilbur. "Geez, Tommy. For a big man you sure act like a child."

"YOU WRONGUN!" Tommy yelled, struggling in Techno's grip. Techno pressed Tommy's head up against the window and no amount of struggling got him to let up until they got home and Phil, smiling, opened Tommy's door. Practically falling out of the car, Tommy chased after Techno into the house, who'd slipped out Wilbur's door. Promptly kicking the door down, Tommy sprinted up the stairs after Techno. "GET BACK HERE!"

"I just replaced that door." Phil muttered. Kicking doors down was not an unlikely occurrence at their house and Phil was often replacing doors. It got to the point where they had a stash in the garage.

Wilbur just laughed, and followed his brothers.