Zev stilled at my words, his breath stalling as well.
Ares tensed at my side. His hand stopped massaging my hip, something I only noticed he was doing when I experienced the absence of the comforting action.
Both of their reactions had doubt crawl up my spine. I started admonishing myself for acting before thinking. I let the rush of emotions left over from what had happened earlier influence me.
It's just because I want to keep him in my sight after seeing him-
Soft movement interrupted the excuses I was trying to think up. Zev walked back to the edge of the bed and wordlessly sat down. His eyes flicked to Ares before returning to me and remaining there, silently agreeing to my request and waiting for me to continue.
And I did. I continued speaking till my throat grew coarse and dry, my voice cracking as I detailed the pain that followed the day I was unfortunate enough to cross paths with Stephen. Once I started, I couldn't stop. It was like a floodgate had been released. The words kept coming. The memories.
As I told them about the countless times I had been held down and tormented my eyes became distant as memories dug their claws in and tried to drag me back. Looking through Ares instead of at him. My voice became hollow as I continued. Tears freely flowed down my cheeks, wetting the flesh that had paled as I fell deeper into a familiar and old numbness as the words continued to pass through my lips.
I didn't react when I felt hands move my body, pulling me to lie over his. Ares's concerned eyes tried to meet mine but it wasn't possible with how I was looking through him. It was like I was looking back into the past and watching the traumatic events unfold.
"Nea?" Ares said, worry thick in his voice.
"He didn't care that shards of glass were digging into my back, not when it felt good for him," I kept speaking. "He said he liked it when the pain made me clen-"
"Nea!" His voice came out more forceful.
But I continued, detailing another one of the many attacks that I had filed away in the dark corners of my memory in an attempt to forget them. But they always found their way out.
I was so lost in my head that I didn't feel the dip of the bed behind me. But the soft press of warm lips to my shoulder had me reacting like he had zapped me with electricity. It sure felt that way when his lips touched me.
Zev's unexpected and charged touch pulled me out of my head enough to lock my eyes on Ares, latching on to the gold-flecked lavender that had me melting against his strength. Everything about him felt safe. While Zev, on the other hand, was an unpredictable danger waiting to lash out at me.
"I'm sorry."
The strained words sounded like Zev, but it was difficult to believe he would apologize for anything. That would mean admitting to making a mistake. It must have been a figment of my overworked imagination.
But what wasn't, was the soft flick of his tongue after he scraped his teeth over my clammy skin. It was also the furthest thing from a lash. It felt like a cooling balm. His body pressed over mine, pushing me into Ares. I expected his weight to have me suffocating and gasping for air, but all I felt was my muscles loosen under the press of his cool body. His shirt was unbuttoned and left hanging open. I could feel his cooler body temperature through the soft fabric of the shirt I had been dressed in while unconscious. He blanketed me with unexpected comfort like he had been pressing the worries out of my body while his lips distracted me enough to succeed.
Ares's gentle fingers drew my attention to him as he ran them over my brow, alerting me to the fact I had shut my eyes when they snapped open. He continued to trace my brows and trail down my nose as my eyes widened.
