The Glass Princess

Chapter 6 Making a better future

Chapter 6 Making a better future

A family outing today. The long isolated period of the past few years have prevented outings like these. While my parents seem really excited about it I will admit I'm nervous. They all haven't seen me in quite some time. For one I didn't use the name Emily yet. I didn't dress the way I do now yet. A lots really changed when thinking about it that way. How will they react? I would often play games with my younger cousins... will they still want to play with me. I can accept the adults hating me for being me but if I'm not accepted by my cousins then.... I'm not sure how I'll handle that. But either way its best for me to do my best, this is part of creating the perfect christmas memories. I need to make this work. Show christmas spirit and it will all go wonderfully. At least one can hope... but I do have to make sure this works. A bad impression could... really ruin the plan.

"Hey you free today" A message reads on my phone. Its from my close internet friend Julie. "Hey sorry for not responding much this week but I am busy today, but tonight I should be okay! :)" I replied. Within an instant I get a reply that read "look at you doing things, I'm proud of you" She messaged. "You always talked about how badly you wanted to go out more so I shouldn't be too surprised" She continued on replying. "Sorry about that, I will be on tonight though" I replied. "So you dating that surfer girl yet?" She messaged abruptly. I was pretty caught off guard by this, I kinda slipped a little from my seated position on my bed. "Oh it wasn't really a date, or at least I don't think it was uh either way it was fun though" I replied a bit slowly. "You told me she bought you a plushie and she whispered merry christmas to you pretty sure you are dating now" She replied. ".. we will see :) but its a bit soon to know" I explained. "Well I just got queued into a ranked match but we can talk tonight yeah?" She messaged. "Yeah of course, hope your placements go well" I reply. "Nah my mid laner picked Kaze, they gonna feed lol anyway ttyl" she replied.

I look out the window to see possibly the smallest little bird I've ever seen sit on a tree near my window. They look super carefree. Though in a way unlike before maybe to some extent I'm free like this bird. I'm pretty scared about a lot of things but I am more free than I was. Even if my bird calls don't exactly sound right. But they will sound right. I just have to keep trying. I'll admit to a certain tightness in my throat, it gets pretty bad when I talk for too long. I don't really know how to speak without hurting my throat now, my old voice is gone so I don't really have a fallback option. Not that I would ever want to anyway. But I think I feel good about how I look. Even if my family won't today, at least I look pretty. I feel pretty. I get to go to a family outing, as a girl. That is a freedom that took a lot of work and I'll do my best to savour it.

I grab a bag, some water and head out my room. I was texted by my dad that we are heading off in 10 minutes. Upon closing my door I wave to my plushies looking back at me leaving the room. Its comforting knowing whatever happens today I can go back to that soft bed and plushies. I'm able to go outside of that room now which is helping me also appreciate how lucky I feel to have the room in the first place. Everything really is better in moderation I suppose. We've been stuck inside for 2 years so it was easy to lose sight of what made me love my room in the first place. Speaking of which, this is my first outing with distant family since well everything. Me coming out as transgender, me changing my name, me taking hormones despite parents initial disapproval. Come to think of it does my distant family even know? I feel pretty nervous at that thought. It was never quite on my mind till now but it is rather stressful once I think it through. My parents told them right? They would've. I feel kinda doubtful....

Today I'm wearing a nice skirt and top. With the weather becoming even hotter it felt like a good option. Dad walks past me, doesn't look at me as usual. He seems stressed about something. "We can look for it later, we need to get in the car" My mum says to dad. "I'm just trying to help, don't complain at me, I'll find where you left it and we can go" My dad says firmly while continuing to look frantically. This happens fairly often. I am unsure how standard of a adult interaction this is but I never liked seeing it. I just keep my head down and look at my phone in the meantime. Nothing particularly interesting during my scrolling. Couple posts about more places opening back up after being closed for a few years and a mobile game based on a pc game I like got announced at a conference I didn't know about. I was hoping for a full sequel to said game as mobile games aren't for me but means they are interested in the IP so that makes me happy.