Dixie pov:
I haven't been able to sleep all night worrying about everything this all over whelming for me I'm used to things running smoothly but after everything that's happened im not surprised everything has took a turn "please lay down dix your making me nervous" "I can't Noah" he's been up with me all night it's currently 2:30 am and he refuses to sleep without me "I know everything's not great right now but we're here there's nothing to worry about" "well how do I tell my self that I can't help but worry about everything and everyone" I sigh as I put my face in my hands as I do so I feel Noah pick me up and take me downstairs "hot chocolate and cat in the hat it is" I smile lightly kinda faking it as I'm feeling selfish for keeping Noah up ever since we became a thing the first time I've been a lot to handle and I need to learn how to do things on my own but noah would totally disagree with me
"Sofa baby" "you really don't have to do this" "sofa" I roll my eyes playfully as I lay on the sofa putting the duvets over me and snuggling up to my pillow "hey leave room for me" he says coming over with our hot chocolates things really don't change but age does "here's your hot chocolate" i take the mug "woah baby don't drink it now it'll be hot" that was my intention to feel pain like I deserve it I still take a sip and he takes the mug of me "it's hot" "I know" I say as I lay down on his chest as his arms come around me "thanks for this" "anytime bubs"
The movie ended and Noah is asleep yep you guessed still can't sleep that's what mental health can do to you but I like to keep it to my self instead of feeling worse about telling somebody "hey dix" "oh hey char what are you doing awake" "can't sleep" "how come" I pat the sofa for her to sit next to me as I continue laying on Noah's chest she lays down resting her head on my butt "me and chase aren't really working out and moms not doing so good" "me and Noah have mom and this stuff under control so take a deep breathe in... out" as she does so I hear her sniffles having a sister who struggles with the same mental health issues as you is a hard thing to watch but you can't comfort someone until you feel the comfort yourself but I'll still do anything for her she's my little sister the only thing I have left that's not slipping out of my reach more every day "it's okay let it out char" as she moves closer up towards my arms Noah begins to move so I caress his cheek with my thumb making sure he stays asleep "so tell me about you and chase why aren't you guys 'working out' I guess" "I don't know he's been very distant lately he's been away a lot and hasn't really bothered to make time or text or even call me to let me know how he's doing" I've seen this all before with griffin and this is what fucks you up mentally
"Everything will be fine I promise" "I hope so I can't lose him dix I really can't I love him to much to let him go" deja vu takes over me and I see me and this position but with Noah comforting me telling me everything will be fine hugging me keeping my close whispering in my ear every few minutes to see if I'm okay when he could've just looked down at me
"Thanks for this dix but I think I'm going to head to bed" "thanks Noah for everything but for this I needed this but i think it's time for bed" "Dix" Charli asks questioning if I'm still engaged in the conversation "sorry char goodnight" "night" as she heads upstairs the memory hit me like a soccer ball getting flung right at my face it hurt
"What did I do to deserve this I tried my hardest for him for everything to just workout" I cried In Noah's arms "everything's going to be fine I promise" "he was my everything I love him to much to let him go things just can't end like this" I've officially fell in Love but also hit rock bottom "I know dix but it'll only get harder until it gets better" I cry harder knowing he's right I don't think I can handle all this "this is all to much for me" I start to lose my breath "breathe Dixie" "I am" he puts his hand on my cheek guiding my face towards his making sure he's looking dead in my eyes "breathe in... breathe out" as I cry he nods telling me to copy him "you can do it look at me stop looking around dix watch me keep your eyes on mine" he continues to breathe in and out as I place my hand on his he caress my hand as I start to follow his lead breathing in and out becoming more calmer the more I do it and that's when...
"DIXIE" I heard Noah scream my vision blurry my head hurting "what the fuck happened" i say holding my head as I see red on my hands I can't of how? "How have you done this" it wasn't what I thought it was I Fell and hit my head but seeing Noah panic made me panic even more as I forget how to breathe Noah grabs me a water as I'm choking for air "Dixie breathe" "I am" fuck we are doing this again he then places me on his lap making me rest on his chest taking my hand in his as he rubs his thumb against my fingers "deep breathes baby your okay I've got you" as I follow his breathing I'm calmer "you okay" "yeh" "show me your head" I lean forward "fuck" he says "how did you do this weren't you asleep" "no Charli came down and we spoke about her and chase because she needed it and then something weird happened and then I Wake up to you screaming my name" "how about we actually go to sleep this time" "sounds great" we stand up but I grip onto Noah as my visions still blurry "I think i have a concussion" "let's lay you down" after this we fell asleep i wasn't bleeding it was my juice I had knocked of the counter as I fell
Word count: 1135
More 'deja vu' coming
I might be back to posting possibly
YOU ARE READING
Best friend or more?
FanfictionI don't really know how to describe this story this is my first story and it will be boring at the start but it will get better I swear
