Ch. 14 Fear

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Jamie's nightmare
Three hours since I got here, and I've been whipped for no reason to the point I'm bleeding on my back before being dragged to a room.
I'm thrown onto a cold metal table before being restrained.
"Yes, sir, we're starting the process," a doctor says before getting off his phone and grabbing a scalpel. They stand by the bed and cover my mouth with duct tape before cutting my throat.

Sunstreaker POV
Jamie abruptly wakes up; clearly, she wants to scream but can't.
"You're safe," I assure her while moving her onto my lap, restraining her arms, knowing what she's going to try to do.
Damn, she's trembling.
I've seen Drift move in a slow rocking motion and how it helps calm Jamie. Before I go this, though Drift might be mad at me, I grab the speaking valve and attach it to the trach. I think not being able to make a sound while crying adds to her panic.
I let her cry as I rub her back and move in a slow, rocking motion.
"You're safe," I assure her again, "you know how much everyone cares about you."
I'm able to stand up while holding Jamie to get the oximeter. I know her oxygen level is decreasing, but I need to know how much it's decreasing. She hugs me once I sit back on the bed, and I assure her once again she's safe as I put the oximeter on her finger.
Damn, why does she have a hard time keeping her oxygen level up while crying?
Crosshairs and Drift walk in soon after. Jamie stops crying, but tears roll down her face. I let Drift take her, knowing he'd lay in bed with her.

"What happened?" Crosshairs asks as he closes the door.
"She woke up terrified, and not being able to make a sound scares her even more."
"What the hell is scaring her suddenly?"
We both quickly realize what's scaring her.
Those fucking so-called doctors.
We agree not to tell Drift, but Ratchet needs to know.

"That would explain why she's afraid of me touching her throat. All I wanted to do was an indirect laryngoscopy, and though I wasn't sure if that would be enough," Ratchet explains.

Crosshairs' P.O.V.
Drift texts me to ask Ratchet if we can use sleep aid at least for tonight.
"I don't know if that's a good idea with how terrified she is of anything medical right now."
Ratchet goes to prepare a syringe anyway, telling me Drift and I should try to get her to sleep without this for a while before using this.

Sunstreaker insists on returning to the room with me.
Drift couldn't get Jamie to relax in bed. It's only eight; Drift and I let her watch T.V., hoping she'll fall asleep. She sat on Sunstreaker's lap quietly, but we could see the sadness and fear in her eyes.
It's not long before Jamie tries to fight sleep, but she's too tired to fight Drift, putting her to bed and connecting the oxygen concentrator to the trach. He lays close to her, holding her hand while trying to go to sleep. I lay in my bed and try to get a little sleep.

Drift's P.O.V.
I've been trying to get to sleep, but I worry something will happen while in our room. Even though I know Ratchet goes to his room to sleep, he would be alerted of any unwanted changes patients deal with overnight. I'm also troubled by Jamie suddenly being terrified.
What the hell did they do to you?

Crosshairs asks if I've slept as soon as he wakes up. Displeased that  I told him  I was up all night, and he knows I'm worried about Jamie. After his shower, Crosshairs goes to the medbay to get the wheelchair and to ask Ratchet if it's ok to take Jamie to the cafeteria while she's asleep.
I get dressed and wait for either Jamie to wake up or Crosshairs to come back with our answer.
Glad you didn't have another nightmare, Jamie.

Crosshairs returns with the wheelchair, but Ratchet advises against taking Jamie down to the cafeteria before she's awake.
Jamie sleeps until ten. Crosshairs suggests I give her a bath, more like a sponge bath. I don't worry about her hair this time, and I think Crosshairs meant more for the time together than to clean her.

I can't believe how skinny she still is. This is leaving her weak and tiring fast. I put the speaking valve on the trach, hoping to get her to talk. If not, then another day of weaning has begun.
"You're safe," I assure her, even if she's not getting anxious, "do you want to go down to the cafeteria with Crosshairs and me?"
I was hoping she'd say yes, but she nods. Well, it is progress with another problem we have to deal with.

I finish bathing her and dressing her before picking her up, carrying her out of the bathroom, and laying her on my bed. I'm glad I got her Autobot insignia necklace.
"You know how much everyone cares about you," I remind her as I put the necklace on her.
Crosshairs hugs her, being careful of the trach, repeats what I said, and puts her in the wheelchair.

Jamie lets me leave her with Sunstreaker while Crosshairs and I make breakfast. There are not many choices I have regarding Jamie's breakfast. Glad she likes oatmeal.

Sunstreaker's P.O.V.
Everyone knows to be careful about approaching Jamie. I hate we're worried about causing her anxiety. No one else — aside from Crosshairs, Drift, and Ratchet — know about last night.
Ratchet comes by, and immediately Jamie gets scared. I know the others aren't liking she's scared and that the first sound they hear from her is crying. Drift rushes out of the kitchen, takes Jamie out from the wheelchair, and hugs her close.
"What did you do, Ratchet?" Bee asks.
"Nothing," Ratchet replies, concern in his voice.
Drift can get Jamie to stop crying, but she doesn't let go. He sits at the table, assuring Jamie she's ok.
Crosshairs walks out with a tray. He puts the tray on the table, not pleased Jamie is upset already. He sits next to Drift, takes Jamie's hand, and assures her she's safe.
We have a problem if she's frightened by Ratchet. At least she'll eat.

Ratchet's P.O.V.
Crosshairs and Sunstreaker were guessing what frightened Jamie last night, but considering how frightened she is to see me, they are right. Jamie was tortured by so-called doctors and is frightened it'll happen again. I don't know why trying to check her throat triggered fear, which added to our problems. I must figure out how to remedy this.
I watch Jamie from a distance. Interestingly, she trusts Sunstreaker. Those two aren't exactly friends, though Sunstreaker would normally call a human in Jamie's condition weak. Like the rest of us, he's concerned about her. 
I watch Jamie eat for a few minutes before going to the hospital to seek advice.

Optimus Prime's P.O.V.
Ratchet informs me about what happened last night, Crosshairs and Sunstreaker's guess of why Jamie became frightened of him last night, and how Jamie's actions this morning confirmed their guess before going to the hospital for advice. 
I'm disgusted by what Megatron's plan has done and worry we've lost the Jamie we know.

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