Ch. 32 Exhausted

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Ratchet’s P.O.V.
Drift has been struggling for the past four days. Jamie is only sedated enough to keep her from pulling the chest tube out and is awake for a while. I’m glad Mirage brought the chair in. Jamie’s room is too small for another bed, leaving Crosshairs to sleep in another room. He’s worried about Drift and checks on him every few hours during the night. I think Crosshairs is more worried Drift will run away again than nightmares. Getting Drift to eat is another struggle. He eats very little, which might catch up to him.

The two watch, worried as I check on Jamie. The pneumonia is finally clearing up, and I can remove the chest tube. I didn’t think Drift would suggest continuing sedation, but Jamie is more comfortable dealing with the aches of being sick and the pain of broken ribs. I take the tube out while Jamie sleeps, and she’ll be happy waking up in Drift’s arms.

“She’s still sick, but her lungs sound much better,” I explain and let them listen to her lungs. It sucks she’s getting over pneumonia, but there’s still a long road ahead. Drift still doesn’t want to leave Jamie alone to eat, but he leaves, knowing I’d make him. I sit on the recliner, holding Jamie. She still has a 103° fever, but it’s a good sign there’s less fluid collecting in her lungs. I don’t know if she is ready to use the speaking valve for a while or not. I hope this doesn’t worsen again, but it may still be a couple of weeks before pneumonia clears since she’s underweight and has a weak immune system. 

I see why Drift feels better holding Jamie, and it’s interesting though I can’t explain it. At least for Drift, it makes sense since Jamie is the femme he loves. 
I sit on the recliner for an hour before putting Jamie back on the bed. It does not concern that she’s asleep, as she’s still sick. 

Jamie is awake in time for Crosshairs and Drift to return. I ask them if they want to try the speaking valve for a while. 
“We’ll try ten minutes,” Drift says to Jamie, who is scared.
I said nothing about coughing, but I think Crosshairs and Drift know it’s good to get her to cough with the speaking valve on. 

That’s exactly what Jamie does once the valve is on.
“You’re ok; this is good,” Drift assures her.
She’s on pain medication, so she’s not feeling much pain as she coughs. Crosshairs monitors her oxygen level. 

Jamie coughs for a few minutes until she no longer needs to. Her oxygen level dropped slightly, but not enough to put her back on oxygen.
Once certain she’s done coughing, Drift reclines the chair back as Crosshairs puts a blanket over her.
“We need a bigger recliner,” Crosshairs jokes.
Both Drift and Jamie smile. We still need to have Jamie on oxygen when asleep, but she should be fine with the oxygen concentrator. I insist Crosshairs stay and take a nap with them before leaving the room.

“This is good,” Jolt whispers as we watch the three sleep like parents watching their kids.
“She still has a long way to go. I don’t know how much worse Drift’s mental state will decline.”
“I worry about Crosshairs’ mental health. No way he’s not hurting more than he’s showing us. I told you how he went into the other room to cry.”
“This has been rough for both of them. How the hell Crosshairs has been Drift’s rock until today is beyond me.”

Crosshairs’ P.O.V.
I slept for two hours, waking up to see the lovebirds sleeping. Ratchet is not pleased with my short nap, even giving me a ‘go back to sleep’ look. I want to make Drift and Jamie a nice dinner, but I don’t think Jamie is up to eating yet. 

Drift is up an hour later. He lays Jamie on the bed and tube-feeds her. Her temperature is holding steady though 103° is high. We both look at her, wondering how often she would cry if she could. It’s hard to think what’s better, the trach keeping Jamie from crying or hearing her cry rather than seeing only tears roll down her face. I worry about Drift’s mental state as well. 

Drift sits on the recliner and looks at the floor. I hate that he’s still blaming himself for all this. I don’t know what else to do but hug him.
I try to get him to take a walk, but he doesn’t want to leave Jamie, even if she’ll be asleep for a while. Not even Jolt or Ratchet will make him leave.
We do what we can to bring Jamie’s temperature down as she sleeps, careful not to wake her up.

Jamie is asleep for another three hours, but we didn’t think Jamie would start crying; she doesn’t like she can’t make a sound, so she’s trying to take the trach out. Drift picks her up, restraining her arms.
“Stop; you’re ok.”
There’s not much I can do but take her hand.
Jamie is already small, but I can’t get used to seeing how tiny and frail she is since we saved her. It’s hard to know what to do to help her. We get her to calm down. Drift is thinking about giving Jamie a warm bath, but he has to do things before I can put her in the water, and there’s the issue of making her cold. He works carefully as she lies on the bed, mostly wrapped in a blanket, as I get the tub ready. I leave him alone in the bathroom, hoping this works. However, the problem is after the bath. Jamie does not like how cold she is, even after I warmed up a blanket in the dryer. I can tell Drift is worried Jamie’s temperature is going up. It’s a long thirty minutes before Jamie is asleep. Drift leaves the room but sits in the hall by the room.
Come on, Primus, enough of this. Please let her recover.

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