Ch. 58 Feeling Like Nothing Has Improved

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Drift’s P.O.V.
Jamie is getting frightened. Holding on to me tight, as I sit on the bed. Crosshairs sits next to me. Jamie flinches as he rubs her back. This isn’t good.
“Easy, it’s me,” he assures her, “you’re safe.”
I don’t know what we’re going to do about this. Hopefully, we’re not starting over getting Jamie not to be terrified of Jolt and Ratchet.
“Let’s go for a walk,” I suggest.
Jamie lets me put her in the wheelchair. I’m putting the chest straps on her along with the belt. Jamie is ok with the wheelchair being at an angle.

The terror twins are around and join us for the walk. I nod at Crosshairs, letting him know he can tell the twins what happened.

“Damn it, and there’s nothing we can do,” Sunstreaker sighs.
“Maybe there is. The medics need to put a new monitor chip in. Jamie will not like being in the operating room,” Sideswipe explains.
I know what he’s thinking. Damn, I forgot a new chip needs to be put in. That day could help or add to the problem.

Jamie is asleep when we get to the park. We decide to stay.
“I think we have some friends,” Crosshairs points to a duck couple walking towards us.
The female jumps up, laying on Jamie’s lap.
“I think we’re stuck here for a while,” I smile.
The male duck realizes there’s no room and lays next to me on the bench.

The ducks stay for an hour. Jamie wakes up, feeling the female duck on her. She smiles and pats the duck, who doesn’t move but is woken up from her touch.
“Who brought bread?” Sideswipe asks, getting no response, “no one? Great, these ducks are going to attack.”
It’s hard not hearing Jamie laugh, but I think she’s afraid to until the stoma closes. I find it hard to believe she’s not laughing.
I get the male duck positioned with the other duck. They barely fit on Jamie’s lap.
“We’re not taking those back,” Sunstreaker comments as he takes a picture.
The ducks aren’t pleased to put on the ground. They don’t follow us as we leave the park.

We decide to get a snack at Panera Bread. I’m worried about letting her drink hot tea, even if Ratchet said nothing. Crosshairs gets a small cup.
Jamie is happy to be having tea, but not pleased Crosshairs is making sure she’s drinking slowly.

Crosshairs’ P.O.V.
Jamie isn’t liking what I’m doing, but Drift and I are worried about Jamie drinking too fast. Even if Ratchet has said nothing. We want to wait until the stoma closes. 
“Look, I got several of your favorite cookies.”
Panera Bread always has chocolate chip cookies, but this time there’s white chocolate macadamia nut cookies.
I have a dozen cookies for later.

The terror twins insist on taking Jamie hopefully until dinner. She’s ok with this for now. I thought Drift wouldn’t be as stressed as he has been once the trach was removed.
Now I realize that was foolish thinking. There’s still so much to work on.
“Are you ok, Crosshairs?”
“Are you ok? You seem more worried than before the trach was removed.”
The displeased look I’m getting for ignoring the question.
Drift sighs, “I feel like nothing has changed even though I know removing the trach was a big step. Considering how often she was on oxygen. I don’t know...”
It’s hard to hear Drift struggle to be optimistic about good progress, but there are still serious issues that could arise. I’m used to this being the other way around. All I think to do is hug him and take him to our room.

Sunstreaker’s P.O.V.
I hate feeling how light Jamie still is as I move her from the wheelchair to the couch. Feels like she hasn’t gained weight.
How long before she’s looking to take a nap? Sideswipe asks through the bond.
I’m thinking not long. She feels like she hasn’t gained weight. It’s like three months haven’t passed. I was hoping to be wrong about how recovery would take a year.
Too soon to think about that. Might be six months, and it’s only been three.
We weren’t told not to tube-feed Jamie. She’s distracted playing video games to care.
How long before she wants the G-tube out? I ask Sideswipe.
Probably soon, but I don’t think she’ll eat enough to gain weight.
Then there’s her guardians. This has been stressful for everyone, but harder on them.

Jamie plays video games for a half-hour before laying down on the couch. We’re not telling her guardians. They need a break and Jamie will be fine.
“Should have gotten the bag from their room,” I comment, “which I thought they’d keep hanging on the wheelchair when out of the room.”
“We’ll ask them later.”

Jamie’s nap lasts three hours. Crosshairs and Drift are aware she’s been sleeping. They’ll be waiting for us by the cafeteria.
Jamie isn’t bothered waking up in our room.

Sideswipe brings the wheelchair down the stairs rather than take the elevator, while amie walks with me.
“That’s on loan from the hospital, remember?!” I scold him.
Jamie smiles at me scolding Sideswipe. I was hoping she’d laugh. How is she not laughing? No way anyone can avoid laughing when something is funny. I worry her mental health is scrap even if she’s smiling at things that are funny.

Drift has the bag I was hoping was hanging on the wheelchair.
“Sorry, I meant to tell you we want her eating more,” Drift explains as Crosshairs takes Jamie into the cafeteria with Sideswipe, “I just don’t know if it’s enough to get her to gain weight. The challenge is if she’ll be too full to eat, and if she’ll throw up....,” Drift sighs.
“We should talk to Ratchet. I don’t like how she’s not gaining weight.”
I know they increased how frequently Jamie was getting tube fed, but she has been eating and I think they’ve been focused on that while she had the trach. One challenge is dealt with, and another takes its place.

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