Ch. 19 Walking Out on Her

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Ratchet's P.O.V.
After a long month, Jamie finally got over pneumonia and is still doing well with the speaking valve; we don't have to start over with trach weaning. Though we still can't get her to talk. I don't think it's discomfort from having the trach in. I don't want to force her to talk. She knows I need to know she can keep her oxygen level up before removing the trach. We can't force her to talk, but I don't understand why she doesn't want to talk. Unless she thinks I'll remove it the way those so-called doctors removed the monitor chip. All I need to do is pull the trach out, and it shouldn't hurt. Damn trauma has caused her to forget how it's done.
Crosshairs, Drift, and Jolt aren't happy with this. It's hard to know what to do to deal with this.

Drift's P.O.V.
I'm tired of my girl dealing with this shit. Something makes her not want to talk while she knows it's an important step before removing the trach.

Ratchet says Jamie is well enough to go back to our room. I take her up to our room while Crosshairs gets breakfast. 

Sitting on the couch quietly, thinking of ways I can try to get Jamie to talk. We've already been told not to make her talk by refusing to give her anything until she verbally tells us what she wants.
Then I realize.... shit.

Drift: Ratchet, I think they scared Jamie not to talk because she thinks Megatron will go after her.
Ratchet: damn, she still thinks she's not safe. 
Drift: I thought she'd be eager to get revenge on Megatron. It's not like her to surrender.
Ratchet: I fear we're unaware of most of what she's been through Before we found her.

Without thinking about Jamie, I run out of the room.

Crosshairs' P.O.V.
I return to the room to discover the door is open and I hear crying.  
I dread the scene as I walk in. My friend, who'd never run from a fight, is trying to hide in a corner while crying. I put the tray down on the coffee table and crouch down by her, and she trembles as I touch her. Scrap, she thinks she's back at the asylum.
"It's me, Crosshairs; you're safe. Where's Drift?" I ask, aware I may not get an answer.
"He left," Jamie replies.
This hurts; out of all the things she could have said with the speaking valve on the trach, why must this be what gets her to talk?
"Come here."
I pick her up, feeling her trembling as she hugs me with a tight grip.

I take her to the medbay; I need someone to watch Jamie while I go find Drift. I walk by Sunstreaker, who follows me.

Ratchet hates seeing how scared Jamie is and hearing what got her to talk.
"... I need you to watch her while I go find him," I finish.
"No," Jamie cries and tightens her grip on me. 
Damn, even with the twenty-four days Ratchet has taken care of her, Jamie is still scared of him. No doubt she's frightened, thinking Drift has left her. 
"You want to come with me?" I hear Sunstreaker ask. I forgot he followed me.
"Go with Sunstreaker. I'll get Drift's aft back here," I assure Jamie.
She loosens her grip on me, allowing me to hand her to Sunstreaker and leave the medbay.

Sunstreaker's P.O.V.
Damn, the stress of this situation got to him.
Drift would never run out on Jamie like he did.
Ratchet is very concerned about the current problem.

I had Sideswipe get Jamie's breakfast and the oxygen concentrator while I got what I needed to tube feed her from Ratchet.

Sideswipe tube feeds Jamie while I give her the oatmeal Crosshairs made her. It's only one-fourth a cup, but I think Crosshairs made a little in case Jamie refused. I'm glad she's not afraid she'll choke.
I put the T.V. on, hoping to distract Jamie. I hope Crosshairs and Drift will not have a major argument or even a physical altercation, and Jamie needs both of them to support her.

An hour passes before Jamie is asleep. Sideswipe and I agree it's better if she's in Crosshairs and Drift's room. I take her to their room, put her to bed in Drift's bed, remove the speaking valve, and put her on oxygen. I lay on Crosshairs' bed, unsure if Jamie will panic if I'm not right where she can see me.

An hour passes before I see Jamie moving around in her sleep. I stand by the bed and see tears rolling down her face. 
I think I know what she's dreaming about.
It's sad watching her look around before hugging me once she wakes up. She won't let go, so I can take care of her. They've been gone for three hours. I don't know if Crosshairs and Drift wanted to give Jamie something to eat for lunch or not, but I'm just going to tube feed her.
As I'm thinking about putting the speaking valve on the trach, Jamie has an anxiety attack. 
Damn, I don't think this is about her recovery.
"They'll be back; you know how much they care about you."
Drift rushes in and picks Jamie up in a hug.
I think he would do this regardless if she was having an anxiety attack.
"It's ok, I'm here," he says while rubbing her back.
I'm not even going to ask what happened. I leave the room as Crosshairs and Drift sit on the bed and get Jamie to calm down.

"Yeah, they came back, and at a good time," I tell Sideswipe once I return to our room, "she started to have an anxiety attack."
"Idiots," Sideswipe growls.
"I know it's hard to watch Jamie go through this shit."
"You're not furious at them?"
"While what Drift did was stupid, I'm not mad. He has to be very stressed. Now he's likely crushed at what got Jamie to talk... if she'll continue to talk."

Drift's P.O.V.
Jamie is terrified I'll walk out on her again and never return. I know I pissed Crosshairs off for walking out.
Do you think I'm not stressed about her recovery?! What she has been through?!
I should be happy all I got was one slap from Crosshairs, and oddly he stayed until I wanted to get back to Jamie.
"I'm sorry," I tell her.
With Jamie calm, Crosshairs suggests going for a walk before dinner. He puts her in the wheelchair while I get what we need.

Crosshairs' P.O.V.
Jamie is terrified we'll leave her and never come back to the point she won't let me put her in the chair. Jamie tightens her hold on me, and tears roll down her face. 
Would she throw a tantrum like a child? I don't know, and I'd rather not find out. I'd rather not hear her crying from fear Drift, and I will leave her.
Drift puts the things we need in Jamie's backpack before putting the oxygen concentrator in its bag and over his shoulder. I take the backpack as he takes Jamie, and I take the wheelchair with us.

Drift's P.O.V.
I'm such an idiot; I've created another problem for us to deal with.

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