In Justification

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August 27th 2020 – 03.17 p.m. In Justification

I stared at the names stated in the file.

My name was not there.

I felt betrayed all of a sudden. I fell asleep thinking about what to write and they didn't put my name in the credit. I typed those words so they would be easier. They said they don't want to write it, couldn't write it, didn't know what to write. I gave them ideas and they made me write them.

I kept screaming that I didn't want to write it, but I did. And now my name wasn't even on the credit.

I decided, even though it hurts and is slightly heavy, to let it go. Maybe the other person wrote much more than me. Then I moved on to see if there was any typo or misspelling. There were plenty. I should've told them but I didn't because I just had a shower.

Then, I closed the article and moved on to the report all of us made. Another hit to my gut. I hadn't even seen the content but the cover made my chest tighten. The cover was supposed to be a photo of all of us. Not less. They didn't put the photo where I'm in it.

Am I just a bystander in the group? I did as much as them when we were on the field. I felt disrespected. It's not that I'm proud, but it just hurt when they didn't even bother to search for a photo where there was me inside. I had plenty and they already asked for it. I sent it. Was it really hard to edit the photo?

I knew I could be hard to convince to take a photo with them. But there was still a photo of me.

Am I a pushover? Or am I being too overly bitter about this? 

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