till again

16

benjamin zyair.

its been three days since we came to this shit hospital.

silas is alright now, just really stiff and irritatable.

everytime alex went to him to apologise for what happened, he'd turn his back and go on his phone or ask alex to give him space. which is very weird coming from him, considering he's always a mess for alex.

mateo and arya are quite good as well, mateo ended up telling arya everything. and i mean everything. i think thats what had her feel comfortable being around him so quick. she knows everything about him now, so why wouldnt she?

and then me and my el.

its not like she doesnt talk to me, no, we have conversations. but they are all never related to us. its always just asking me where something is kept, or borrowing my phone for making calls, or asking me to come outside along with her probably because she's scared.

i havent had my face buried in her neck, or have my arms around her, or my lips on her skin, in fucking ages.

well, three days to be fair.

it's like she isnt comfortable around me anymore. we dont have those minute long stares at each other anymore. actually, she doesnt even look at me for more than ten seconds straight.

i get it though, i havent explained myself well to her yet. she doesnt know why i am doing what i am, and why it had to be this.

i sigh, my head aching majorly again. i reach out to my pocket pulling out a cigarette, along with the lighter. i light the cigarette, holding it in between my lips as i put back the lighter in pocket.

smoke blurs the air around me, as the door creaks open and i see alex walking in with his head down, sitting down besides me.

"they said we could leave now, the paperwork is done." he mutters, trying to get it over with.

"what about silas?"

"he's still not..well, talking to me. i tried telling him it wasnt my fault and i had tried my best to avoid something of that sort, but he just replied with a 'i know.' "

mateo walks in the door, looking rather joyful in the gloomy atmosphere.

"are we not leaving yet?"

i get up, holding the cigarette in between my fingers.

.........

i walk into the room, seeing silas sitting up on the bed and arya on the couch.

"where's el?"

arya shrugs, not bothering to look up from her phone.

"in the washroom, been quite long since she's in there though."

i shake my head, and sit down on the stretcher besides silas.

"what is up with you and alex? he's been stressed about you not talking to him."

he looks away at the window, "nothing you need to worry about."

he wasnt even meeting eyes with anyone.

"silas, do not give me this bullshit when i am trying to help."

he turned to look at me, with his eyes drooped, looking filled with what seemed to be..

guilt?

he immediatly looked down at his hands once my eyebrow raised in confusion.

"benjamin, give me space. please."