So many colours in my life

15. Insistent grey of concern

Luckily, Wei Wuxian managed once again to convince Jiang Cheng to go to Qinghe on horseback. It was getting a little dangerous now. He had no other option but to say that he was tired and wanted to have a look around the areas destroyed by war and suggest that they could better strategize when knowing the situation. Otherwise, his brother would insist they flew by sword during the night.

Which would have been impossible for Wei Wuxian now. He could have been so easily found out! Just a little more pushing from Jiang Cheng's side or a few well aimed questions, and his brother would figure out everything. It had Wei Wuxian on high alert at all times.

He had to be careful. And moreover, he had to quickly go back to the way he had once behaved. If Jiang Cheng found his change in behaviour strange, Jiang Yanli would surely be extremely concerned. Just like in the past, Wei Wuxian did not want to cause her any worry.

Although he knew his Shijie would not insist on finding out his secret, she would still be agitated and concerned. It would reflect poorly on her health. That was why, Wei Wuxian had to remember to be his past self.

As he and Jiang Cheng were riding their horses through the lands, Wei Wuxian could indeed see that the war had impacted everyone. They were going around burned villages where there were no living beings left. They were passing through others where people scurried away as soon as they saw them, completely terrified of any strangers.

And sometimes, on the sight of them, children would start crying. Wei Wuxian was not completely sure why, however, he could take a guess. Either he and his brother reminded them of Wen soldiers' pillaging attacks or they were afraid of cultivators in general.

There was also another possibility though. One that was making Wei Wuxian uneasy. He and Jiang Cheng were wearing dark coats but his own red and black robes could still be seen under them. There was a possibility he was reminding the people of a Wen sect soldier, or he was too scary to look at.

If this was the true cause, he truly had to step up his game. If he was looking scary to children; there was definitely ground to be worried. Had he actually changed so much?

In the past, he had always been the centre of attention, the good sort, even when he did not want it. People would swarm around him and he would make them laugh. Children in the market in Lotus Pier used to come up to him while he was walking around and he would play with them.

It was not the case anymore though. People were wary around him and Jiang Cheng. When they came to buy supplies, there was no idle chatter, no words of friendliness or sharing of rumours. Instead, they were shooed away as soon as the deal was concluded.

When they stopped to spend a night in an inn, they were eyed with suspicion. Their rooms were prepared and they were asked to not come out of them. No one ever came to drink in the inn. Everyone was just quickly walking by, avoiding eye contact.

The people of Yunmeng, always so open and ready to socialize, were terrified.

"Jiang Cheng," Wei Wuxian inquired after another of such encounters. He was getting more and more uneasy, and he could not understand why. What was that feeling which was trying to come out of his sealed off heart? "Tell, what exactly had happed during the last three months?"

His brother looked at him and Wei Wuxian could see his tired expression despite the omnipresent darkness of the night. He needed to understand why the world had changed so much. The gloomy atmosphere somehow reflected his own change. And he did not like it in the slightest.

The insistent feeling was still growing as Jiang Cheng explained: "Well, what would you expect? There is a war going on. Nearly the whole territory of Yunmeng and Gusu are now controlled by the Wens. I do not even talk about Qishan. The Wens are everywhere. And let me tell you, they are not the most pleasant bunch out there. Of course people are scared and wary.

We about to lose and be swallowed by Wen Ruohan under his reign. Jin Guangshan is not resisting. He is just hiding in his fortress of gold and splendour while Lanling is being slowly overtaken. He is not even pretending to be on our side, that coward!

All the people who were able to fight and wanted to stand against Wen Ruohan and his army are now gathering in Qinghe. That is our last stronghold. We were lucky that we had managed to take back Lotus Pier, but it will be hard to keep our positions there, we need to meet everyone in Qinghe. If Unclean Realm falls, it will be the end of the cultivation world as we know it."

After saying this, Jiang Cheng fell once again into a brooding silence.

During his pursuit of Wen Chao, Wei Wuxian had not had many opportunities to inquire about the current state of the war. Nor had he been interested in it. He had been too blinded by his thirst for revenge. And he had just not cared enough. He could not.

Now though, the wall he had built around his heart was slowly but surely cracking. More and more feelings were coming out. Since meeting Jiang Cheng and Lan Zhan, he had come to remember many emotions he had been avoiding until then.

At last, Wei Wuxian could name what he was feeling at the moment.

They were concern and worry. If Jiang Cheng's words were true – which he did not doubt, his brother did not make it his habit to try and sugar-coat his words – the cultivation world was about to lose. Wen Ruohan would then take over every single sect. And knowing his methods and his inclination towards demonic cultivation, it would be hell on earth for everyone.

Suddenly, he was worried about everyone he knew. How were his friends doing? Were the grannies and uncles he had once spent hours chatting with in the streets of Lotus Pier still alive? What was left of the allied forces if Jiang Cheng had almost lost all hope? And how was Jiang Yanli doing?

This was truly nerve-wracking. He prompted his horse to walk faster. He had to see for himself what he was dealing with and how he could help. He would do his best to fight against Wen Ruohan. He was not sure he could face a whole army, but he would do his very best. The Qishan Wen sect could not prevail.

But first and foremost, he had to reassure himself that his sister was safe and sound. Jiang Cheng had told him as much, but those were old news by now. After all, he had been searching for Wei Wuxian without a break. It had been almost two weeks since he had not seen Jiang Yanli.

And during two weeks, Wei Wuxian knew the best that many things could happen. It was not even certain that their sister was still alright. Even more so if she had volunteered to help in the war camps. Which, according to Jiang Cheng's words, she had been thinking about. Wei Wuxian had to hurry and see her.