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"I'm supposed to the best man, who the fuck are you?" Jared said. "I'm Monika's brother. I'm pretty sure you aren't even supposed to be in the wedding party, so get out of here!" Kane said smugly. "Go fuck yourself." "They kicked you out too?" Connor asked. "Yep. I mean Evan's my best friend, this really isn't like him."
"I wasn't even invited." Heidi said. "I just showed up and her dad let me in. It's definitely Monika, Evan wouldn't do any of this. Mark, what the hell are you doing here?" "I was invited." "That fucking bitch!" "EVAN!!!" Monika was now screaming at Evan. "Oh there she goes again." Connor said.
"EVAN WHY THE HELL IS YOUR MOTHER HERE?" "I didn't know she was, and why can't she be here?" As Monika's screaming continued, a bridesmaid, Britney, rushed in to get ready. "This is a shit show already." Zoe said. "You were invited?" Connor asked her. "Yeah, she wanted so many guests she invited me and Alana, even though she hates both of us." "She hates me and I wasn't invited." Heidi said.
*waiting for the ceremony to start*
"I still can't understand why anyone would want to marry my daughter." Tony, Monika's father said to Heidi. "I don't know what he sees in her. She's awful to him." "She's awful to everyone." Beatrice said. "She's a terrible person. Trust me, I had to live with her my whole life." Tony walked over, and Monika started walking down the aisle. "BEATRICE!" "Sorry sorry." Beatrice walked up to stand at the altar.
The officiant began to read. Evan didn't look happy at all. Monika just looked annoyed as usual. "You will spend-, okay, do we need to stop?" The officiant asked. "No, come on Evan let's get this done. Try to look happy!" "Are you sure?" The officiant asked Evan. "Yeah.." He said half heartedly. "Okay." The officiant continued to talk.
Evan said his vows, then it was Monika's turn. "I, Monika Wynn, take you, Evan Hansen, to be my lawfully wedded husband. For better and maybe for worse, for richer, but not for poorer, till death do us part." "Do you, Evan Hansen, take Monika Wynn to be your lawfully wedded wife?" "Yes." Evan mumbled. "You're supposed to say I do idiot." Monika said. "I do." Evan rolled his eyes. "That's better." "God I hate that bitch." Jared said to Connor.
"I now pronounce you husband and wife, you may kiss the bride." "Oh great job you messed up my lipstick." "Sorry-" "Why do you always embarrass me like this?" Evan just walked away from her. "It's not even smudged, what the hell is she bitching about?" Zoe said. "At this point, who the hell knows?" Alana said. "I'm not gonna stay for the reception, see you later."
The reception was in another part of the golf course. "We're not doing a first dance." Monika said to the DJ. "I don't care if you picked out the perfect song!" "Monika can we please just get it over with?" "Fine, don't embarrass me again Evan." She snapped at him. The DJ began to play Gold Digger by Kanye West.
"Sorry, wrong song!" He changed it to I Bet On Losing Dogs by Mitski. "Perfect song choice huh?" Monika sneered. "Monika, come on, let's get through this." "Stay out of this Evan!" "Okay..." Evan rolled his eyes again. "Roll your eyes at me 1 more time, I dare you!" "Just turn the song off, I'm done."
"Monika, there's a problem." Amy, Monika's mother, said to her. "What did you do this time Evan?" "I didn't do anything, why are you blaming this on me?" "Because you always screw everything up! So what happened?" "There was an issue with some extra charges-" "WHAT?! And why didn't Evan tell me this?!" "I didn't even know about them look Monika I'm sor-" "YOU'RE ALWAYS SORRY YET YOU ALWAYS HAVE TO FUCK EVERYTHING UP! WHY CAN'T DO ANYTHING RIGHT?" "It's not even my fault why are you-"
"YOU SAY THAT EVERYTIME! I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU AND I'M-" Heidi walked up to Monika and bitch slapped her. Everyone was silent. "Did this bitch just slap me?" "Hey, can you help me with something?" Allison asked Jared. "Uh, sure." She lead him over to where she was trying to set up a projector. "I'm gonna play a special video." "Oh cool. What is it?" "You'll see." "Okay then."
"I'm cutting the cake myself. I'm sick of Evan always embarrassing me." Monika said. "Did she learn nothing from that slap?" Connor said to Beatrice. "That's my sister for you." Allison took the mic, Britney walked up and joined her. "Me and Britney have prepared a special video for you all. You know, we actually found it on Monika's computer and thought everyone would love to see it, so here it is." "What the hell are they talking about?" Monika said.
The video that showed up on the projector was not at all what anyone expected it to be. Monika was in a hotel room wearing bright pink lingerie, there was a guy there she was having sex with, obviously not Evan. "So this is what she meant by special video." Jared said. "You're getting married in a few days, right?" The guy said. "Can we not talk about Evan right now? You're the kind of man I really need, not that pathetic loser who can't do anything right. He's lucky to have me, he'd be worth nothing without me."
"Lucky to have you huh?" Evan said. "Evan I-" "Save it Monika, you can go fuck yourself, I'm done!" Evan left the wedding. "FUCK YOU ALLISON AND BRITNEY! YOU TWO ARE JUST JEALOUS OF ME, BECAUSE YOU'RE NOTHING WITHOUT ME!" "Alana would've loved seeing this absolute shit show." Connor said to Zoe. "I knew this wedding was gonna be bad but this is so much worse than I thought it would be." Zoe said. "And I'm NOT returning the gifts!"
