Staged and Confused | LRH

surprise. 25

Luke's Perspective

Alexia is mad at me, I'm sure of it. She hasn't spoken to me since we got onto the plane taking us to San Francisco. She hasn't even given me a second glance. Maybe she's not as into me as I am into her because fuck, it's been a few hours and I actually miss her. She's not even gone, and I miss her.

I miss sending her seductive glances and getting her cheeks to flush that cute rosy colour that really only suits Lex. Every time I've tried to look at her since being a bit of an asshole at the hotel she rolls her eyes. It feels more like it used to between us, and I didn't realize how much I hated it. I regret sending those stupid texts back at the hotel, they obviously upset her.

Of course I wanted Alexia there when I woke up. But how was I supposed to know that she wanted me to want her there? She looked fucking freaked out when I admitted I wanted her there, and I had been planning to push her away anyways before whatever the fuck I'm feeling for her progresses so I backtracked. What I didn't mean to do was backtrack to before we were friends with benefits. Fuck no.

I thought I liked our relationship the way it had been before tour started, and then we started fucking and everything changed. I like whatever we have now, and I can't believe I'm thinking this but I actually hope I haven't ruined things with her because of one stupid comment.

"You're sucking ass, mate," Calum nudges me from his spot beside me on the couch. We're backstage at the show in San Fran, but we've been hanging out here all day because our tour bus won't make it here till well after the show ends, and we'll all be tucked away in our hotel rooms by then. We're leaving in the morning again, but even one day without the tour bus feels pretty unusual.

I blink back to reality and away from my thoughts of Alexia, although it's pretty hard when she's at the table behind me, playing some nerdy card game with Michael that nobody bothered to learn but her. I focus on the game of fifa on the screen, because some things never change. Calum is in fact beating me. Bad. I try to tune out Lex's laughter but instead, my lips curl upward at the sound. I will my lips into a straight line, internally trying to deny the sense of comfort the sound of her laughter brings me.

It shouldn't be like this. Her laughter should piss me off, at least a little bit. But not even an ounce of annoyance surfaces. In fact, the only thing annoying about the sound is the fact that I'm not causing it. I need to get this under fucking control, Lex doesn't seem to have much of a problem. She can't even hold in her laughter with Mike, and I'm sitting here sulking like an immature teenage boy. I should be happy. This is exactly what I wanted, to ease out of whatever relationship I'd initiated with Lex without either one of us catching feelings. But I'm just not so sure how well that plan has gone over.

"Fuck," I curse as Calum continues to obliterate me.

"Luke, I could do better than you and I hate this game," Ashton chimes from where he sits in a chair paying more attention to his phone than the screen. I roll my eyes, tossing the remote down onto the glossy oak wood table situated in the middle of the room.

"Yeah, I'm out." My head is not in it right now, and with that thought I stand up and turn my body to move towards Alexia and Michael. I pull a chair out and take a seat with the two of them as their heads turn to me expectantly. "Okay, Michael. Teach me this fucking game."

Michael looked at me with a blank expression, his eyebrow furrowing. "You wanna learn?" I nodded and his expression remained untouched.

"Let's teach him, Mikey. Teach him how to get his ass handed to him." They were the first words out of her mouth directed at me in hours, and despite the way it felt like something she would have said to me before we started hooking up, and not after, I was still basking in the delivery of her words. If I wasn't so inclined to halt these pesky feelings of mine, I'd already be planning my apology and way to get her into my arms. Alexia is slipping away from me though and unfortunately that's exactly what I need. There is no way in hell I'll be apologizing.