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▪︎ Friday ▪︎
+Harlow+
I've been so overwhelmed with such a spectrum of emotions it's hard to process much of anything. Sebastian has offered to take Ava and bring her home from preschool for today so I could rest a bit and edit some of my work for payment before my shoots this weekend.
I run my hand over the curve shaped slice in the back of my neck.I hate him, I never thought I could hate anyone, Corey gave me her but he ruined me.
There is this piece of me that's afraid I can't do it, be good enough, strong enough for Sebastian. That's when I hear June, she's yelling at me to let go and accept that I'm worthy, to let myself fall, and trust my heart. She was always the hopeless romantic, and she would have loved Sebastian.
I swallow the sadness and let out a breath as I slip into my favorite white sweats and an old Yankees crewneck Henry gifted me when I was in college. Before too long, I'm standing over the stove like a troll making ramen for breakfast as Ava twirls in a beautiful burnt orange prairie dress with tube socks and white converse. My little ballerina.
"Momma, are you making ramen for breakfast?" She crinkled her nose. I nod with a laugh as I crack two eggs into the noodles.
"Hush you, yes I am. Do you want a waffles or yogurt?"
She laughed, "well, I want ramen."
I scoff, "oh I see how it is." I watch the eggs cook as I skim through the work I need to finish.
I get us each a helping as she looks at me inquisitively. "So, where did Sebby go this morning?"
I smirk, "he left last night but he's taking you to school today."
She shook her head, "but I heard him in the middle of the night. You two had a sleepover."
I roll my eyes, "Ava you're the curious cat, aren't you?"
We both eat our noodles quickly, Ava a bit faster than me. I smile over at her with a shrug, "hey, I like best friend sleepovers. They're always fun."
She shrugs, "I wouldn't know," and finishes her food before there's a knock on the door. I gotta plan a sleepover for this sweet girl in her new home.
I slurp on my noodles as she opens the door for Sebastian. He has a bright smile as he looks from her to me, his head tilting when he looks at my breakfast.
