Growing Apart

I Can't Trust You Anymore

a/n: play this song when you see: *****

Here I am on my seventeenth birthday, sitting on my bed and looking out the window that's covered with raindrops, after finding out that I can't go to university and that I no longer have a mom. Niall is downstairs, giving me some space but also coming to check in every couple of minutes. I haven't completely come to terms with the fact that my mom is dead. I don't want to come to terms with it because that means she's really gone. 

I hear a knock at the door so I turn my head to see Niall peaking his head into the room. "I brought you some hot choco if you want it."

I don't feel like talking right now so I just nod. Niall walks in with two cups of hot choco with whipped cream and red sprinkles. He walks over to the bed and sits down in front of me, handing me the mug. 

When I see what mugs he's holding, I feel a pang in my heart. "These were my mother's favorite mugs," I whisper.

"Oh, um, I could go back and get different ones if you want," he says reaching for my mug.

I pull my mug away from him. "No, it's okay."

Niall pulled his hand back. "Okay," we sit in silence for a bit, and let me tell you, it was uncomfortable. "Tell me about your mom."

"Hm?" I spaced out again so I didn't really understand him. "Oh, well, she was the sweetest person you could imagine.  She was kind, and trustworthy, and she always knew exactly was to do when you were sad."

"What would she do right now to make you feel better?" He's trying to make me feel better. I can tell, but I don't know what would make me feel better right now.

"Well, she'd probably bring me some hot choco," I said raising my mug. "then she would probably sing me Blackbird."

"By The Beatles?"

"Mmhm."

"I'll be right back," he groaned as he got up.

A few minutes later, Niall comes walking into my room with his acoustic guitar in hand. He came and sat on the bed again and started playing.

***** (start playing the song)

As he plays he also sings along. God, I miss this song. I feel like I haven't heard this song in ages when in reality, it was last week. Last week. Last week she was fine, she was healthy, she was alive.

My eyes start to fill with tears as Niall keeps playing. I take a sip of my hot chocolate to cover the tears. I think Niall noticed because he looked at me with sad eyes.

I sob escapes my throat as he gets towards the middle of the song. He stops playing and puts a hand on my knee. "You okay?"

I shake my head vigorously.

Niall puts his guitar down on the ground and pulls me into a hug. "It's gonna be okay, okay? It is going to get better." I just nod my head wiping away the few tears that fell. He pulls back and keeps his hands on my shoulders. "I'm gonna go order dinner, okay? I'm thinking Chinese take-out from the store around the corner."

"Okay," I say wiping my nose with the back of my hand.

And he did, he brought home buckets of Chinese food. I didn't go downstairs to eat, Louis came up and brought me a few buckets and some more hot chocolate. I'm guessing the boys were downstairs because I heard the boys talking through the vent.

Soon enough, the sun sets and everything in my room goes dark. My dad got home a little while ago and gave a me box that he said was from my mom. I haven't opened it yet, and I don't know if I want to.

I turn over in my bed to check the time, 1:32. I haven't slept in 14 hours, I haven't eaten or drank anything in 7 hours. 

I decide that I have to get out of my bed at some point so throw the covers over my legs and swing them around so I'm sitting on my bed with my feet dangling from the edge. I pull a sweater over my sports bra and headed out the door, trying to walk as quietly as I can down the stairs and into the kitchen.

While I'm heading down the stairs, I see that all five of the boys are all over the living room. On the couch, the chairs, the floor, and even the coffee table. Every step I take almost wakes one of the boys so it takes longer to get to the kitchen than I thought it would.

When I reach the kitchen, I open the fridge and I find an apple that I could eat, I also grab a bottle of water to cure my dehydration. I walk over to the sink and quickly wash the apple before heading back upstairs.

Halfway up the stairs, I hear one of the boys talk. "A.J?" I see Harry sit up and start to walk over to me.

"Harry go back to sleep," I whisper.

"Wait-" he says grabbing my hand.

"I'm going back to bed," not like I'll be sleeping but I don't want to talk to him right now.

"I'm coming with you."

I roll my eyes and head back into my room, hearing him follow me. I go into my room and try to close the door, but before it could shut, I see his hand slip through the gap. "Ashley, please. Just let me explain."

I place my apple and bottle of water on my bedside table and sit back on my bed. "There's nothing to talk about, Harry. That was rude and an invasion of my personal space."

"I knew that, I know it was wrong. But you have a beautiful voice that needs to be heard!" He raised his voice.

Tears start to swell in my eyes. Not from the fact that he's yelling at me or that we're fighting, but because of how overwhelming this day has been. "I don't care! I don't care, Harry. I like being private and keeping things to myself but you've gone and gotten rid of all of that."

"I know, I know, I'm sorry, I really am. Just trust me that-"

"I can't trust you anymore, Harry!" The tears that were welling in my eyes started to fall. "That trust left the second you hit the record button!"

Harry starts to move forward and grabs my hand, but as soon as his fingers touch mine, I pull them away instantly. "Stop!"

"But Ashley-"

"Leave! Please!" I struggle to say through my sobs.

Harry looks at me with a distraught expression. "But-"

"Now, Harry!"

I walk him out of my room and close the door behind him. As soon as the door closes. I slide down the door and cover my mouth to quiet my sobs but it doesn't work. Sobs escape my mouth, they're so loud that even though Harry went downstairs that he could probably still hear them. The tears in my eyes just keep falling and I can't tell if they're ever going to stop.

a/n: if any of you cried at any time during these past two chapters, I'm sorry 😀

Clearing things up:
- Harry and Ashley's relationship is ✨stuggling✨
- Niall and Ashley are getting particularly close
- Ashley's mom is dead