𝐋𝐄𝐒 ➤ 𝐀𝐒𝐇𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐘

𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐫𝐭𝐞𝐞𝐧 - 𝘸𝘦 𝘤𝘢𝘯 𝘱𝘳𝘦𝘵𝘦𝘯𝘥 𝘪𝘧 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘵 𝘵𝘰

𝐋𝐄𝐒

𝘾𝙡𝙚𝙤'𝙨 𝙋𝙊𝙑

After the party I felt slightly guilty for how I spoke to Ashtray. Well a little more than slightly, it was in fact starting to eat me up inside.

I don't know where the guilt really came from since I had shot multiple insults at Ashtray before and said much worse things whilst in our arguments in the past. I think it might have been how surprisingly nice he had been before everything happened that made me feel bad for my attitude. Or the fact I knew deep down it wasn't Ashtray's fault, he didn't force me to kiss him and he had no idea we would get caught like that.

It got to the point where I was so desperate to clear my conscience that I decided to apologise to Ashtray. I hadn't seen him since new years however I was sure he would be pissed at me for my reaction that night but I still wanted to try talk things through with him.

I showed up at the store to see Fezco and the girl I remembered as Faye. They both paused their conversation to greet me, a devilish grin appearing on Fezco's face once he saw me edging towards the back.

I simply rolled my eyes and entered where Ash was just scrolling through his phone lazily. I let out a small cough to make him aware on my presence and he looked up at me slowly.

"Whatchu want?" he grumbled as he stared at me through narrowed eyes.

Despite rehearsing what I wanted to say on my way to the store, it all seemed to slip out of my mind once we made eye contact.

Instead a rushed number of words managed to escape my lips as I scrambled, "Uh, I'm here to say I'm sorry for being a bitch to you. Can we just forget about it?"

Ashtray seemed to find my flustered state amusing as a smirk tugged at his lips, "You mean forget about the ki-"

I didn't let him finish his sentence as I sternly cut him off. "Don't say it."

"Don't say what? That we kissed?" he taunted, obviously trying to get more of a reaction out of me.

"Yep. Don't say that. We were both just high and made a stupid mistake so the sooner we forget about it the better," I sighed as I noticed somewhere in between my words I had lost Ashtray's attention.

"Are you even listening to me?" I sassed whilst waving my hands in front of his face. His attention turned back to me as he hissed, "Shut the fuck up, Cleo."

I was about to snap back at him until I watched him get up from his seat and reach for the cereal box. My eyes widened as he pulled out a gun and cocked it.

Ashtray's intentions then became clearer once my sights landed on Cal Jacobs who was patrolling around the store. I let out a gasp as I turned to Ashtray with a panicked expression.

"Ash, don't-" I hissed but he shook his head and swiftly covered my mouth to stop me from saying anything else.

I don't know if Ashtray was aware of how tightly he had a hold on me but I couldn't even move my jaw due to his grip. I couldn't help but get a sense of deja vu in that moment, his firm hold reminding me of the way that guy had grabbed me at the drug deal. Just like before, my fears started to settle in and I could feel my eyes welling up.

I didn't have any choice but to stay silent as we watched Mr. Jacobs and Fezco talk briefly. I wasn't sure if it was to do with the distance between me and them or the fact my thoughts were so loud that I couldn't hear anything else, but their conversation was a blur to me. I was just thankful when Cal finally turned around and left the store before things could escalate.

Even after Cal had left Ashtray still kept a hold on me, only letting go once Fezco nodded to him through the glass. I turned to Ash who had a frown on but it soon disappeared once we were face to face.

"Shit. Sorry. I didn't mean to make you cry," he muttered as he reached over and gently swiped my cheek.

"It's fine. I'm fine," I responded although I leant into his lingering touch on my face. His hold on me now was much softer than before and I could tell by the look in his eyes that he was genuinely sorry.

Ashtray frantically pulled away though once Fezco banged against the glass, "Finish up in there, love birds. We closin' for the night."

I dropped my head in embarrassment, already feeling my cheeks heat up from the comment. When I looked back up, Ashtray's hard exterior had returned and his head was tilted slightly.

"So you really wanna pretend like nothing happened that night?" he asked.

I remained quiet for a second before sighing, "No one can know about it."

"That's not what I'm asking. We don't have to tell people shit, don't mean we have to forget about it," he mused causing me to frown.

"What do you mean?" I quizzed.

"All I'm saying is that I had fun that night until Nate ruined it and I realised I don't actually hate you as much as I thought I do. I ain't a public person anyway so if you wanted to just keep things between us on the down low, I'd be up for that," he admitted.

I could feel a smirk growing on my face as he spoke. If you had told me a couple months ago Ashtray would be telling me that he doesn't really hate me and that he was willing to spend time with me, I would have laughed in your face. But here he was, doing exactly that.

"Well I am pretty good at keeping secrets.. and I also don't hate you as much as I thought I did," I hummed.

"Is that a yes then?" he asked.

I pretended to look thoughtful for a moment but after he rolled his eyes at me I nodded with a wide grin.