everlasting curse ; hereafter [ ❥ ]

In the morning - Ch 4

It is finally 7:20 a.m. My alarm rang, finally waking up. I could barely finally see anything, my whole view is so pixelated. I was still dizzy, barely no mood to even get up to get ready for today even though I had no plans at all. I almost forgot, did Josiah text me back? In a rush, I went to grab my phone which was on the tabletop near my bed. I had my own bed, a bunker bed except there's a desk below my bed I use it for my stuff.

I turned on my phone and I saw a notification from him while I was asleep, cute much. I opened up the message he sent to me, "I miss you, have a good sleep," it read. That fluttered me so much, a human caring this much for me? In awe, I didn't reply for a few minutes and stared at the message for the next few minutes then I replied. "Awe, goodmorning to you," I replied his message from last night.

Never has a human made me fall for them this much as him, I finally felt love again but the question is, does he love me back? Like - at all? This is the only thing sucks when you love someone, you started to think whether if they ever love you back. Especially when it's someone who you have barely known or your own crush. Same thing is happening to me, which sucks. Has this ever been normal maybe? Or is it just me feeling this way?

Perhaps, I'm just an overthinker over everything but my mother has always told me to be strong and independant, not sure how long until we get closer. What if he's acting just like me because we just met? No no, he's not acting is he? I love him, I shouldn't think that at all. Everything about Josiah just makes me in love with him including his own name. In which words, I'm really head over heels for this man.

Nobody has made me gone this crazy for them since years ago. I gave up after since my first love. But, that time we broke on good terms and still is in good terms, just barely talking to eachother. I think I really am being obsessed with him slowly, I'm waiting for his message to come by. Like, literally just waiting in our chat because I miss him so much, I can't go a single night without him now even though we just met like what yesterday? He feels like my everything already, maybe he is.

Hours has passed by and I'm still waiting for his message on our chat. It has already been 10:30 a.m. Time has never passed by this fast, how long until he wakes up? I'm so patient yet impatient. Only for him, I'm waiting for. I haven't even showered yet, well, not now until he responds.

Ding, a notification went through my phone. It was finally him, after hours of waiting. It was instantly read as always, so I had to reply in an instant too. "Morning, how's your sleep?" he texted me. With a little hesitation, I started typing, "Morning to you too, my sleep was well and amazing today!"
I barely had any energy for today anyways to start off with. I feel so lazy today, so I thought of finally staying in instead of going out today.

I procrastinated through everything, like literally everything. I went to go for a shower, closed my eyes for what I thought was a minute turned to be a whole 30 minutes and It was already 12:05 p.m. After I had showered, I put on my towel back on and started rummaging through my closet for clothes. Found one, a comfortable grey sweater with somewhat decorations on it. Not bad, I thought to myself. I still felt dizzy since 7 am but now with nausea. I practically had nothing to do that day.

I stayed home, all I did was scroll through my feed on Instagram, read about the latest news in New York and scrolled through an app called Tiktok. Life went so slow without him honestly, not his fault, he has a job at the frontline and he's busy. I'm proud of him being a nurse. He helps other patients in need. I realised, if I were to be in a relationship with him, we barely would have time for eachother but we can always work it out, right? Well, if we truly love eachother that is.

Ding, Ding. It went off on my phone, a double-text? Surprisingly, and he's also at work so I really doubt he has the time does he? I mean I feel honoured, he thought of me first. I really want him to be the one for me. "Are you free this Saturday?" It read, "I wanna hang out with you," he asked (in text). Today was a Thursday so, and I don't have any work meaning - I'll be free on Saturday.

"Yeah, I am free. Where and what time will it be?" I answered back in voices of happiness flowing over my head. I never felt so energetic in my life ever, I did but not this energetic you know? I wish that everyday can always feel like this instead of having a mental breakdown whenever I reach home. Life has really took a drastic turn ever since I have met Josiah, it's like it has changed for the better and I'm honestly so glad. Things has always gone down for these past years but he made it better when he is around.

Wow, feeling this about a person and always thinking about them 24/7 is a different feeling I swear. I really feel a romantic connection with him now but he hasn't said anything if he loves me or whatever so I'm anxious. If all this went to waste then, my time. It was all wasted down the drain.

(I got very lazy so bare with me.)