everlasting curse ; hereafter [ ❥ ]

Messy - Ch10

I woke up to the afternoons, the sun wasn't as hot as today's morning. I had forgotten that I had a job interview today, it was completely not in my train of thoughts. I had thought it was either the next day or after that but not today. I was so lost in my thoughts for a moment. I didn't know whether I should still attend as it starts at 6.30 p.m and right now the clock just struck 4.20 p.m. It takes around an hour to get there.

I'm barely even almost ready for the interview, I look like a mashed potato out of bed. My hair's so tangled and greasy, all I had was my nap. I'm physically awake but mentally I feel so sleepy. Do I really have to go for this interview?

This job I'm going for the interview is a high-paying one at a rather big company, I'm pretty sure. It's to be the manager's secretary. I really want the job but at the same time, is it what I really want for the next few years? It's not even what I wanna pursue in life, I just need the money rather than depending on my parents. I'm still independant on most terms, except financially that is.

Honestly speaking, being a secretary is alright but one of my dreams is to be a shareholder of a major company. Maybe, or an investor too, I really wanna take part in the business industry. The stocks, investing etc. It all seems to be so interesting. Everything about business just gives me the comfort. Perhaps, I should also start to invest in something, isn't crypto a good start? Well, that's what I've heard.

"Everything has an end point," was a quote I heard when I was younger, it really gave me hope — because, in the end, no matter the journey or the goal. Eventually, you'll be reaching the end. That also goes to both studying and working in life. I stand by this quote since then, I think it really helped me out to develop to my current self today. You just need to think in that mindset where you have to look towards the positive side whether than the negative side. The way you think also affects you mentally.

If you consistantly degrade yourself or insulting, it'll lead you to a state where you start believing everything that you or other people said about yourself is true even if it isn't. The thing is, it's really hard to change from this mindset to a positive one. I've gone through it myself when I was still in middle school back then. Sometimes as others say, you have to fake it until you made it. So every other day I tried to force myself to think positively and encourage myself. Until eventually, I didn't had too anymore.

Strucking just at 4.30 p.m on the clock, I really need to start getting ready now. I went to the bathroom to take a quick shower, washing my hair, everything. I barely had the time to focus on anything else, after I was done showering. Rummaging through my closet to find a good outfit, I finally found one after like 2 minutes of searching through every piece of clothing I had. By the time, it had just reached 4.47 p.m. I gave a sigh of relieving before heading downstairs to wear my shoes to head out after wearing my outfit for the day.

I rushed out as fast as possible, I was about to be running late for this job interview. I felt so pressured and stressed. Hopefully I didn't missed anything back home. Most importantly was my resume. Everything else wasn't as necessary. All I could think of is to not hopefully have a breakdown at the interview due to my anxiety. I missed the bus to the workplace I was headed too.

I needed to wait for another 5 minutes — which felt like an eternity. I had no patience for this. I looked like a stupid idiot waiting for the bus alone while everyone around me had a friend or partner with them. Finally, the bus arrived. Phew. I got on the bus. It was like another 50 minutes until I got there and it was already 4.55 p.m. Then after I get off at the stop, it's another 10 minute walk. I managed to sneak in a quick nap until I had arrived to my destination. Around 30 minutes of nap, I think.

I went down the bus, a bit lost on where the workplace was. It was my first ever time coming here. The place was so huge, you could see it from afar. I was heading towards there, perspiration was already showing all over my face. It was like 30°C I think, around there? Walking felt like it took forever, but according to my calculations – I would be just right on time to the interview. I stopped at the entrance of the workplace. The enormous view infront of me, felt like the Burj Khalifa but it wasn't. It looked so modern and fancy. Very high class I would say.

I walked towards the door as it opened by itself and headed towards the interviewing room. I loved that the place had alot of windows, the view outside was just as mesmerizing. I was so anxious and nervous the moment I was infront of the door. I knocked on the door.

"Come in," the man spoke to me in a rather monotone voice.

I opened the door as I quietly walked in.

"Good afternoon sir, may I have a seat?" I asked the man politely.

"Yes, you may" the man continued, "My name is Robertson and I'm the manager of this company."

I nodded, I looked over at my watch and it just hit 6 p.m. I was already shaking all over before the interview started, I hope all goes well. I had prepared for this beforehand.