Can't Have Your Cake And Eat It Too #wattys2016

Chapter 15

For cry baby ass KemaBJones and Daedrina .. Quit cussing me out 😓👊✋

Trinity

To say I've been stressed out would be an understatement. My days have been long and my nights are sleepless. The last time I talked to or saw Manny was two months ago. It's killing me that he hasn't called even though I told him not too. Drew hasn't even been outside, meaning there was no Senia. I had my cousins, but that was when we all weren't working. Ive been beyond lonely. My life went back to how it was before manny and I couldn't deal. Amir doesn't even kick it anymore since he and Ann made it official so I go to the nail shop more often and read entirely too much. I've been so on edge.

Aside from that, Marcel has non stop been blowing up my phone. He constantly texts me and he just doesn't know when to quit. I blocked him atleast three times and each time he just calls back from a different number. I'm surprised he hasn't popped up at my job or my house. I really miss manny.

I've been worried sick. I'm so sluggish at work. I was ready to go to manny grandpa and ask has he seen him but I just did that and he doesn't need that stress. Even though he's old and his level of worry is way less than mines I know he's wondering just as much as me. I've went and sat with him a few times. He's a really knowledgeable man and I see where my baby gets being so humble from. It helps calm my nerves. We just sit and talk and sometimes we just watch his shows together and he cooks for me. I guess we've sort of been one another's support system, being that he took a strong liking to me.

I miss my man. I miss his face, his smell, his raspy voice, and most of all his touch and his presence. My mood has been up and down like the weather since summer ended a month and a half ago. I still can't believe it's been sixty days. Since school has started back my school work has been. In full swing and my job has been understanding without me having to say it . I love my manager for giving me those three days out each week. I just worked more hours while I was here.

Right now I'm at work sitting in the back on my ten and Marcel's calling my phone again. I'm so fucking sick of him. Every time I look at my phone I hope it's manny but instead it's always him. If that's not depressing then I don't know what is. He makes me want to take all my frustration out on him and beat his ass.

"What the fuck do you want from me?" I asked in a hushed and angry tone.

"I want you man. Just you. Stop running from me and be mines."

"There is no us. It's dead. Finito. Finished. Outta here,"

"Naaah you haven't gave me a chance," he said simply.

" there is no chance. Somebody stepped up to the plate. As far as I'm concerned you can't get past go. Friends.... Maybe, just stop fucking calling my phone like you my nigga. You tryna tap in way too late. Them feelings is dead." I said matter factly. The weird part was I sounded like manny.

"It's really like that?" He said sounding offended.

"Nah... It's how you made it." I said simply and hanging up.

I went back out to the front as a customer walked up.

"Hi, take a look around and let me know if you need any help," I said leaning against the cash register.

"I need help figuring out why my receipt looks like this actually. Instead of a total, there's this little quote." He said handing me a receipt that looked like it was full of doodles.

I thought it was a receipt that I probably doodled on while bored until I flipped it over. There was little pictures every where but in each corner of the receipt their was a bold word. That's when it made sense. The four words in the corners and the big telephone in the center drawn under a bunch of scribble.

"Stay by the phone," I said aloud to myself.

I looked up to the older man and he was walking out of the exit doors on my left. I was so confused and excited at the same time. I wonder what was so important that he had to leave and where the fuck was he. I just wanted an understanding. I was off of work in thirty minutes and I suddenly had ants in my pants waiting for time to pass by.

I watched the clock intently for fifteen minutes waiting for a customer to come and make time fly. I tapped my nails on the counter and decided to watch a few stories on snapchat. I was so stuck on snapchat that I missed the group of boys coming in. Just as they came in to start looking at shoes, my new co worker Jasmine came in.

"Hey ," I said as she clocked in.

"Hey.. You off yet?"

"ten more minutes," I said checking the time.

"You can go. I'll clock you out," she said passing me a note pad so I could write my badge number.

"Thank you," I said quickly scribbling it down and grabbing my things.

"Your welcome," she said as I left out.

I left and made it to my car as I quickly threw my things on the passenger seat and made my way home. I put my phone in my lap so I'd see it ring. As I was driving home, my nerves were on ten and I was constantly glancing at my phone.

When I got home, I opened my personal patio in my room that led to my backyard and let a breeze in through the cracked door. I took off all my clothes except for my bra and panties and laid down. It was extremely hot for summer to be well over and it was making me tired. As I watched the phone I started to drift off to sleep until it rang.

The number displayed was all zeros but I answered anyway.

"Yes?" I asked nervously.

"Mama, I miss you soooo much." My baby's voice said making me smile instantly.

"Baby where are you? What happened?" I asked as I sat up.

"You know I can't tell you that over the phone," he said in his raspy voice that I missed.

"Okay," I said sucking in my bottom lip. "How long do we have?"

"We got two minutes. But I wanna tell you that I miss you too. I never knew how much apart of me that you became and ion want nobody at all but you. I think about you everyday and ya smile drive me wild. It's unexplainable. I'm finishing up business as we speak and I'm comin straight ta you. Don't stress no more okay?"

"Okay," I said feeling myself get emotional.

"Don't do that. Stay happy, cuz that's the way I left you. Aight?" He said in an assertive tone.

"Okay," I said as we both hung up. I lay in bed and remained strong. I sucked back those tears and let my mind be at ease as I drifted to sleep.