Can't Have Your Cake And Eat It Too #wattys2016

Chapter 21

Trinity
5 am

I woke up from my slumber with a throbbing headache. I don't even remember falling asleep. All I remember was getting home yesterday, Manny took off my clothes and laid me down. He cuddled me while I latched onto him staring off into space.

I unwrapped Manny's arms from around me and tried to scoot out of bed. As soon as I got to the door Manny stirred in his sleep.

"Mama where you going?" He raised up and rubbed his eyes.

"To get water and probably a snack," I said slipping on his Gucci slides that were at the door.

"I want one to," he said pulling back the covers.

"I know, hungry ass. Come on." I said smiling and grabbing his hand as we walked down the dark hallway.

I won't lie, these past events have had me shook. I have never been upfront with my feelings or emotions. I didn't even cry when my mother left. What Marcel was doing to me was worse than being left by my mother. He was making me vulnerable, and making me feel extremely weak and helpless. All those years I spent building up a confidence and finding my voice in the world went to waste. He was trying to make me suffer for finding the will to tell him I don't want him after he left me. He left me and wanted me to hug and kiss him like everything was fine. I'd never understand him. I was so angry at all the audacity that he had. Like he believed I owed him something. He was delusional. I can't say that enough. Although deep down, I still cared just a little and that made me wonder was something mentally wrong with him. Why was he clicking out of reality?

All through out this phase Manny has been handling the obstacles with the utmost maturity and understanding. Deep down I know he's wearing thin and he feels disrespected. What man wouldn't? I feel disrespected to, but I'm afraid for the day Manny and Marcel cross paths. That's what I hope to avoid. I know he feels like he worked for me and in a way it makes him feel like he's less than a man for allowing another man to keep disrespecting and taunting me. I know most of this and I want to tell him it's okay and he's everything I've dreamed of. But then he'd know I was listening in on him and his grandfathers conversation late last night while he thought I was sleep. So I'd have to show him, and see if I could get him to be at ease a little more.

I flicked on the kitchen light and poured me some juice and Manny some strawberry milk. I sat on top of the counter and sipped my drink while manny stood in between my legs. He sipped his drink and then say it down and softly rubbed at the bruise and handprints that were still in my neck. I winced a little and kissed him softly seeing the weird look he was getting.

He sighed deeply and smirked at me.

"You special... Kno dat ?" He said leaning his forehead against mines.

"Why?" I asked shyly

"Cause.... you are. You so worried about me when I'm worrying about you. Lemme find out I got a real woman," he said cheesy. What he did next made me die laughing.

He put his hand out all stank and put on his best Shanaynay voice."ima run home to Pa an nem, an let them know I got me a laaaaady!"

We both cracked up.

After we stopped, I started making us grilled cheese sandwiches. As I flipped the first sandwich, manny stood behind me hugging my waist. His embrace was so relaxing.

"Mama."

"Hmmm?"

"Fareal.... I admire you. At first you was weirding me out being all care free, but your level of maturity and understanding is more admirable than anything. You been stalked for the last three months and assaulted," the last part made him hug me tighter. "all of that and you woke up with blue bruises on ya neck but a smile waaay brighter. Kissing and
making sure I'm alright. Your spirit and yo aura make me fall for you more everyday. You like the sun in the rain... No matter how much rainfall, thunder or lightening, you shine through. You make me betta yo." He put his face in the crook of my neck and kissed each one of my bruises.