An Angel's smile//Drarry

III

I stared into the void that was once the school gardens. Professor Sprout must be incredibly busy re-planting, perhaps I should lend her a hand. It would be great for my 'golden boy' reputation. I sighed, my head leaning against the window sill. I was sharing a room with Neville, which wasn't too bad other than the constant talking about plants. I could've gotten way worse.

I looked at my school schedule. Today was Sunday. On monday, we had transfiguration with the Slytherins, a free period, then Double Charms with Ravenclaw and last but not least herbology with the Hufflepuffs.
Should be fun and interesting, right?

I didn't want to go to school, I didn't want to go back to my old habits, I just wanted to be left alone and be normal. "Hey Neville, I'm going for a walk. If Ron or Hermione asks where I am, tell them to go to the polyjuice potion room, they'll know what it means. He nodded, busy watering the many plants around his bed.

I got up and walked. I found that moaning myrtle's bathroom was a place where I could be alone because nobody ever went there. Nobody wanted to. Nobody had a reason to. The soles of my shoes clicked and clacked against the stone floor as I was observed by the many students that had grown to admire me because of the lives I saved.
Did they realize how many deaths are my fault too? They wouldn't like me as much, that I know for sure.

I looked at my reflection. My hair was messy as always, I tangled my hands inside of it trying to at least flatten it out, but it was no use. I had tried many times, but my dark hair was simply unfixable. Merlin, I looked terrible. The dark circles under my eyes betrayed me, who would've guessed I missed the nightmares Voldemort gave me? At least back then I could sleep, but I've realized I can't sleep without nightmares. Except I can't fall asleep if I think about the war, about the past. About how I affected and ruined the lives of everyone around me, and they didn't even realize it.

I sighed again, looking behind me into one of the stalls. There appeared to be a loose brick besides the toilet. I thought I could try to fix it, so I went over and took the brick out of the hole. Under the brick had been a little diary. I couldn't stop myself as I opened it on the first page.

I'm alone. I can't eat. I am just not hungry. The pain helps cope with the stress, the pressure, the depression. I want to stop doing it, but I can't. It helps. Sometimes I have dreams about the war and the lives I ruined. I just don't know what to do anymore. I don't know how to cope. I want to learn how to cope, I don't want to be depressed anymore. I hope I learn how to eat again, and maybe even be happy.

I read the page over and over again, the words spiraling in my head. Why was this so relatable? Why did I feel like this person would understand me? I had a bad experience with diaries found in bathrooms, but perhaps I should answer.
Let whoever it is that wrote that note know that they aren't alone. They're like me.

There had been no name on the page or anywhere else in the diary and it must've been new because there had only been writing on the first page. It couldn't have been old because I used to come here often, too often.

***

I looked left and right, exiting the girls restroom before I was seen by anyone. The same sound of my feet echoed through the entire corridor, as if there was no end to it.

"There you are Harry!", Ginny said, catching up to my rapid pace, "I haven't had the chance to say hello to you yet. What are you doing roaming the corridors this fine evening?", she asked, her red hair dancing in the wind as she tried to keep up with me. I shrugged, "I felt like going on a walk. I needed to clear my head.", I answered, smiling at her. She smiled back, "Understandable.", Ginny chuckled, "It's been one hell of a summer and now we're back where it all started. It sucks that you guys are in another dormitory, we're having a welcome back party in the Gryffindor common room. I went to get some snacks.".

She held up a few pastries and a few bags of ships. I smirked," We'll come to the next party, okay? I think we all need some rest before classes tomorrow.", I said, yawning.
" Oh, well I'll keep you guys updated! The password is 'Achromantula' if you ever want to stop by!".

We said our goodbyes as I went left, up the stairs and to the South wing, and as she went right, to the Gryffindor tower.
I entered our shared common room, students of every house in every single corner. Except for the Slytherins. I guess I can understand why they wouldn't want to be everywhere, they're a lot less threatening now even though people are still scared of them. I imagine they must be quite unhappy and lonely.

"Anyone fancy some firewhiskey?", Ron asked, holding up the bottle he had snuck out of the kitchens. He had appeared out of nowhere behind me, right as I had entered. "Did someone say firewhiskey?", a voice questioned excitedly from above. Standing on the stairs was Zabini, staring at the bottle with his eyes wide and a grin plastered on his face.
He came down the stairs and came toward us. We all stared at each other for a while before Blaise chuckled. "I'm waiting for a glass, what kind of shitty party is this, huh? We need to spice things up around here and have some fun.", he said, smirking at the both of us.

"I don't think I've ever agreed more with a Slytherin.", Ron said, immediately hitting it off with Blaise. A miracle. A few people gathered around, glasses filled with alcohol in their hands, some background music that Dean had been so kind to put on. It was a nice vibe. A nice vibe until Malfoy walked in.

People suddenly felt uneasy with a former death eater amongst their midst. He looked at the ground, not wasting a single moment of getting to his room and slamming the door. If I hadn't known better, he had been crying.