❝ don't you understand ?
you are my life now ❞
Jane liked to harm and Cora liked to heal.
The light and the dark. The dark and the light.
Together, they were balanced.
Together they were at peace.
They were twilight.
---
𝘫𝘢𝘯𝘦 𝘷𝘰𝘭𝘵𝘶𝘳𝘪...
𝐁𝐄𝐋𝐋𝐀 𝐇𝐀𝐃 𝐌𝐄𝐓 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐅𝐀𝐌𝐈𝐋𝐘 𝐘𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐃𝐀𝐘 and Cora was so glad that she wouldn't have to keep secrets from her anymore.
"Cora." She doesn't need to look up. She knows what Edward told Carlisle. Dumb cocksucker. Stop reading my mind! "I don't need your pity, Carlisle." Cora mumbles, "I'm sorry. I know how life is without a mate. It is—" "Not worth it." Carlisle frowns, looking down at her. "It is worth it. Esme was worth the wait, and I wouldn't have my life any other way. I have six children, a loving wife and a perfect life." It almost seemed as if Carlisle was boasting about his perfect and amazing life.
"I didn't want to be a soulless monster, Carlisle. I really don't and I truly wish that you would tear my head off and burn the pieces. But you won't. No matter how much I beg you to do so." It hurts his heart to hear that his child feels this way, it really does. But how can he ease her pain? "How can I ease your pain, Cora?" She doesn't reply instantly, looking down at her pale hands and frowning.
"Kill me." "No. I can't do that." Cora scoffs, anger rising in her. "So you'll have me live a depressed life because I might find my mate? Not everyone finds their mates Carlisle. And even if they do it could take years and I'm not sure I can wait that long for happiness." Carlisle frowns, pulling his child into a tight embrace.
"I won't loose you, Cora. You're family." If Cora could cry she would be sobbing on the floor. But she stands as still as a stone statue. Liquid that will never spill forming in her eyes. She hugs him back, instantly feeling guilty for what she had said. "I'm so sorry." Cora's voice sounds like she's on the verge of tears and honestly she was. "I don't mean to sound mean. I am truly happy for all of you, It just — It hurts." Carlisle pulls away, hooking his finger under her chin so she meet his eyes. He swipes her 'tears' away, a small frown on his lips.
"I know. It's okay. Nobody blames you for feeling this way." Carlisle reassures her. Cora never got the childhood experience. She was so young, barely even fifteen years old. Before she was turned all she could feel was numbness. She remembers when she was turned, though she can't pin a face to the man. She couldn't see his face in the dark, gloomy alley.
"We all love you, Cordelia." Cora smiles to herself, nodding though her mind was far away. Cora takes a seat at her desk, looking for something in her drawer. She pulls out an old book full of different locations. "This was from when I was thirteen. All of the locations I wanted to visit." Carlisle leans closer, eyeing the beautiful drawings and names.
"Switzerland. Italy. Germany, Poland." She sighs, flipping through the pages. "I'll never get to have the experiences I wanted to. Yes, I may have visited these places but I can't try the unique foods or have any type of fun without wanting to kill anyone that walks to close." Cora knew Rosalie felt the same way. She still had things she wanted to do, things she still wants. "I want to go back to France. To visit my family home. But last time I went back..." Cora's voice tails off.
I can't believe I did that.
"You were a newborn. You didn't even know what you were and had no idea of the risks." Carlisle attempts to comfort her. She smiles up at him, nodding in agreement before taking a seat on her loveseat. "I'm going to sleep. Oh, wait..." Carlisle smiles at her, turning off the light on his way out.
"Well, I hope you sleep well, Cora." She smiles at him as he exits her room. Her smile instantly drops into a frown once the door shuts. Cora stares out the window, admiring the rain that patters against the ground and drips down the windows. One moment she's sarcastic and cheerful and the next she's depressed.
Cora lies in her soft queen sized bed, eyes shut as she pretends to sleep. It makes her feel better. "Everyone went hunting." Cora grimaces, sitting up but not facing the intruder. "Oh. That's nice." She says blandly, glaring out the window. "I heard your conversation with Carlisle." Cora rolls her eyes, turning her head to face him. "You act as if you weren't the one who sent him to bother me." She growls, opening her floor to ceiling door and walking out into the harsh rain. The feeling of the cool water against her skin makes her feel at peace.
"I worry about you, Cordelia." "Don't." Edward scoffs, looking towards his little sister as if she was insane. How does she not see how much they all worry for her? Everyone wishes she would find someone to love. But they can't do anything to help her. She can numb everyones pain. All but her own.
"You know we all care about you, especially me. So don't go around telling me not to worry about you because it is impossible not to considering what I heard earlier." Edward spits out, somewhat angry at his sister. "No." And that's all she says.
"Stop acting like a child, Cora. You're over fifty years old—" Cora finally snaps, gripping the trunk of a tree so hard that the wood starts to splinter. "I am fifteen years old, Edward Mason Cullen. I'll always be fifteen years old. I act like a child because I am one!" The tree snaps in half and she instantly feels bad. Poor tree. I'm sorry
"Cora. Listen. If you were to die we would all—" "You'd what? If I were to die it would be like I'd never had existed. I'd be a memory and you would all move on with your immortal lives." It's true. When she died, they would mourn her for a decades before moving on. They'd be saying how Cora would've loved to see this and that. But there wouldn't really be a difference. She never brought anything to this clan.
"And that's okay. But you must understand that just because you all have things to live for doesn't mean that I do." "You don't live for your family?" Now he's guilting her. If it weren't for my family I would have gone to the Volturi and had them kill me. You know that.
Cora frowns at him. I love all of you. You all know that, right? "Yes." Edward offers a loving smile. The voices of the family draw nearer and Edward smirks. "Don't let Esme catch you dripping on her floors." Cora rolls her eyes before following him into the house.
"Cora. I can hear the water—" "Yes, yes. I am trying to find a towel." Cora grumbles, groping around for a towel to dry her wet body with. Esme appears in front of her with a towel, her eyes trained in the water that pools on the floor. "I'll clean it up. I promise." Cora enters her bathroom before turning on the shower to the hottest setting.
She always turned it to the hottest setting. It made her skin feel warm to the touch. Reminded her of being human. The water drips off of her hair in streams. Her shampoo getting in her eye at one point. Suddenly Cora has a boost of motivation once she gets out of the shower and looks in the mirror. I will try to live. No matter how hard it may be.
"How inspirational." Edward mumbles, ignoring the confused looks from the rest of his family.
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a/n: okay so we've established that cora's mood switches drastically and she is very jealous and somewhat depressed!! anyways, it'll get better. i can already see her future 😄
