Trepidation | Trepidation Trilogy | The Empty World Sequence

Thirty-Three

Kit was beautiful in here. He looked so unlike Father Kryztof seen by Claudia's own eyes. And the Claudia here unlike her reflection. In here, Claudia was still warm and seemed too pink already. Already? So quickly used to the pallor and fangs. She fought to stay, to not be conscious of things outside. Here in John's mind Claudia wished to dwell.

      Inside the thoughts and memory was to be as close as possible to the beautiful young man. Here everyone was beautiful, more than in life, except John, who still looked younger and more fragile than he did to Claudia. Here Claudia lived John's dreams, felt his memories, tasted his fantasies, knew his thoughts.

      Worry and love. The scents of Elonwey. The taste of Alaric. A green dress on the body of Joy. And then the flush of something. Felt rush of emotion that was what it was like to be in love with Claudia.

      Absolute peace. Braided men and women defiant before hairstyles of foreign counterparts. The passing of a sword to Alaric.

      The yard of father's house in California. The streets of Hollywood lain with stars. Palm trees.

      Marble eyes of statues that seemed to look right at you and the comforting arms of Madonnas. Gorgeous kiss of Kit's young lips and then fear. Sudden shift to guilt over the fear felt at the meaning of that kiss. And then David's fangs paired with the softness of Claudia when naked. The absolute horror and pain of rape; the betrayayal seeing Joy watched without stopping the act. Hazy desire for Orchid. What it felt like to take Alaric's penis into your mouth.

      Claudia. Making love to Claudia. Willingness to die for this experience. Perfect bodily union. Heaven. Shade of God. Absolute love. The strange dissolving of all into this pleasure. A secret whisper, "Please, hurt me just a little so I know this is real!"

      All links were shut off, memory, thought, dream. There was just the sense that came from everywhere and flooded every portal and particle of being: experiencing orgasm when making love to Claudia.

      It felt like an eternity and then suddenly was gone, like a death of a life just lived in seconds. Someone screamed.

      "Claudia!" the pain of being smacked in the back of the head. Consciousness returned. A separation from John's mind forced Claudia to be aware of herself. Her head hurt. She was on her hands and knees. Estatsi's voice was scolding her and shifted now and then to curses in the Italian language. They all were in a small closed space. They were in Daerick's stolen hovervan. John was there. He sat leaning against the interior wall and wept frequent tears from both eyes. His right hand reached for her with effort.

      Claudia's mind returned to full function, she was aware of being drunken somewhat by John's thoughts or blood. She translated Estasi's barrage of language. Estasi had been there by Claudia's agreement to be supervised, never having sucked blood from a Human body before, and so never from one that they needed to survive. The older Vampyre's point: John might have died if Claudia had continued.

      Yes, his color was off. But that wasn't why he cried now.  He was lamenting the loss of opportunity to make love to Claudia, and mourning the fact that he wouldn't ask it of her knowing that she could not share what he felt. "Please tell me I haven't killed him," Claudia breathed in a rush as John's hand touched the tip of her chin with smallest surface of fingertips.

      "He'll live, but that was your limit. I told you it would be best to stay focused on the drinking and heart. You knew his mind, didn't you?"

      Claudia crawled to John. His arms fell about her neck limply. He was weak and dizzy from lack of blood. Somehow his lips retained strength enough to make her really feel kissed.