Never in a Million Years |N.R|

|18| Who can I trust?

When we finally landed back in DC I'd been awake for some time. Thankfully Natasha had made little effort to start conversation with me, probably sensing that I was still pissed off with her. After mulling it over in my head I managed to make sense of it all a little better, understand exactly why I was so annoyed at her rather than it just being at everything.

She'd gone rogue, without so much as telling the rest of the team or even one of us about her whereabouts on that mission. She was so quick to put herself in harms way, all for some information for SHIELD. I scolded myself for worrying about her. We weren't anything official so I had no right to feel those things, to be annoyed at her for not thinking about how her little escapade might affect me.

As much as I'd been scared about her wellbeing she hadn't thought twice about mine, about how the injuries I'd obtained were all in my efforts to find her quickly and make sure she was okay. No, I was putting too much weight on whatever was going on between us. As far as Natasha was concerned there was nothing between us so I needed to halt my feelings and adopt the same mindset. We'd agreed to go slowly, I just hadn't realised just how slowly she wanted to go.

When the ramp opened everyone was quick to climb to their feet. I did so, but a little slower and with some difficulty since my body was both stiff and painful.

Just as I was steadying myself Steve's voice rung out, addressing none other than me, much to my surprise.

"Orlova, on me. We've got some business to attend to." My heart was all of a sudden racing, pounding in my ears as I went through the scenarios in my head. Surely he wasn't dragging me away from everyone for some kind of punishment. I'd done well on the mission, hadn't I?

But there was no time to stop and ponder the possibilities. Steve was already staring at me expectantly as I hadn't made any effort to follow him off the jet. As much as I wanted to look to Natasha for some comfort, even if it was just a look of encouragement, I couldn't allow myself to. I'd already assumed too much about us, relied on her as if we were anything close to 'special' and so I matched his gaze as I limped towards him. I could feel her eyes burning into the back of my head but I couldn't give in, I didn't need her. I could do this on my own.

The walk was long and deafeningly silent, tension building with each step. I had no idea where we were going but something about Steve's demeanour, along with our entire history, told me that I was in no place to question it. I was just along for the ride it seemed, a silent observer.

After some time Steve stepped through some large doors. Before following him through I flashed my eyes to a sign on the wall. We were marching into Director Fury's office and I very much doubted that we'd had an invite.

Steve didn't stop and wait respectfully to be called over, instead continuing his march all the way over to Fury's desk where he stopped right by it. I opted for a more reserved approach. Standing against the wall just inside in hopes that the Director wouldn't notice me.

Steve wasted no time in starting his speech. "You just can't stop yourself from lying, can you?" Uh oh, here we go.

"I didn't lie. Agent Romanoff had a different mission than yours." Fury was laid back in his chair, clearly not bothered by Steve's outburst. But he'd confirmed my suspicions about our meeting yesterday. Natasha had stayed behind because she had something extra to do on the side, away from everyone's prying eyes.

"Which you didn't feel obliged to share."

"I'm not obliged to do anything." True, Director Fury wasn't but it would've been nice. Especially since Steve was leading the overall mission.

"Those hostages could have died, Nick. Orlova got stabbed making sure Romanoff was okay. That could've easily been avoided  if you didn't keep us in the dark." I hoped that despite my mention I'd still remain invisible, but Steve moved off to the side at the end of his sentence to give Fury a clear view of me. Not to mention my bloodied bandage covering said stab wound.