Can You Hear the Ocean?

Chapter 38

Seated on the couch of her apartment, Mia dug into a takeout container of Chinese food. The television was on in the background, playing some sort of reality TV show that Mia didn't care for. Though Julian had offered to keep her company in the evening, Mia had declined, needing some time to herself. Despite the loneliness that threatened to sneak in, Mia had realized finally that who she needed space from besides Leila was Julian as well.

As Mia finished up her dinner, she glanced around at the overflowing trash can, figuring she should take it out. Since Leila had left, Mia hadn't cooked much. Often, she and Julian would go out, she'd order takeout, or she'd just bring back some extra pastries from the café to eat as a meal. Now that Leila wasn't around to eat with her, cooking didn't spark that same joy as it once did.

Mia reluctantly put on her shoes and lugged the heavy trash bag down the hall to the trash chute. Once she returned to the apartment, drowsiness began to overtake her. She let out a loud yawn and stretched her arms. Mia reached for her phone on the couch, figuring she'd put some pajamas on and get ready for bed, when suddenly she noticed an unread text.

Hey. I'm planning to come back tomorrow night after work. See you then.

Mia stiffened. She glanced down at the text, not sure how to reply. If she wasn't careful, all the words would pour out of her; how much she missed Leila, how sorry she was, how foolish she had been. Mia began a long paragraph, but she erased the text, figuring those were words best meant for Leila to hear.

Instead, all she wrote was, See you then.

Glancing around the apartment, Mia realized that, not only had the trash been overflowing, but the whole place was filthy. Mia hadn't spent much time cleaning in the past two weeks in Leila's absence. She certainly couldn't leave the place like this for Leila to come home to.

Though she had been tired only moments before, Mia spent the next hour and a half sweeping and mopping and vacuuming. Once all the counters had been cleaned, the couch cushions fluffed, and the dishes put away, Mia stood back and stared at the clean apartment. Suddenly, everything felt a lot brighter. Though it was night, she opened up the curtains and allowed the stars and moon to shrine through into the living room.

Hopefully she'll be happy to see the apartment like this, Mia thought.

Later that night, when Mia crawled into bed, she was hoping she'd fall asleep quickly, but her mind raced with thoughts. Staring at the ceiling, Mia was wracked with fear and excitement for the following day as she thought of Leila returning.

What do I tell her? Mia asked. How will she react? Will she not want to be my roommate anymore?

Mia knew it was pointless to think too deeply, but the thoughts tormented her late into the night until exhaustion finally took its course. When she awoke that morning, she felt groggy and disoriented and realized with disappointment that Leila wouldn't return until that evening.

"Of all the days I have off, today had to be one," Mia grumbled.

After her cleaning spree the evening before, there wasn't much else to do. Mia ran a quick trip to the grocery store to buy some essentials, but killed only a measly hour of time. She spent the rest of the day lounging on the couch with the television on in the background. Her eyes were fixated on the clock hanging on the wall. She watched its hands tick slowly, wishing the hours would pass by sooner.

Then, as the sun began to set, fear began to take hold of Mia. She suddenly wondered why she had been excitedly anticipating Leila all day. All day she had conjured up what she was going to say to Leila, but now the words were fleeing from her mind. She suddenly wondered if she'd even have the courage to speak to Leila at all.