A Hiraeth Dilemma (T.R.A.V.E.L SERIES # 3)

Chapter 31

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Matagal kaming nagkatitigan dahil sa sinabi ko. Both are just seriously looking at each other.

Nang mas magtagal pa ay napasinghap ako at tumayo na. I even held my head to at least pretend I'm that drunk and saying nonsense.

"Lasing ata ako."

I was about to turn around when he also stood up, getting my attention. I looked at him.

"I didn't say that." Nakatiim bagang nitong sabi.

It made me stare at him. For a long time. He also did the same but his eyes are like it's challenging me. I blew air on my cheeks, napadpad doon ang tingin niya kaya ibinuga ko ang hangin doon.

Gosh, I feel like my world's turning so much. Ni hindi ko nga natikman iyong kape na tinimpla niya. I stared at it and sat on the chair again.

Inubos ko iyon, he was just watching me kaya minadali ko iyong ubusin. Medyo malamig naman na, maybe because kanina pa kami nag uusap.

I then moved it forward before looking at him again, his gaze didn't left me. Hindi ko tuloy mapigilang umasa.

Napapikit ako ng mariin at nagpangalumbaba.

"Then can I have my chance too? You asked me for that before, can I ask you that too?" Mahina ang boses na sabi ko.

I don't know if he heard that, he was just silent. I want to look at him but what if I see an annoyed expression? I'm not ready for that, never will.

Napabuntong hininga ako bago yumuko sa countertop. Ang bigat na ng ulo ko at inaantok na ko.

Nang hindi ko pa rin narinig ang boses niya ay hindi ko na maiwasang maging emosyonal. Why is he not talking? Ayaw niya na ba talaga?

If he says that he doesn't want to, I'll respect it. As I've said, I lost my chance before already.

Nakakainis naman kasi, bakit siya nakakamiss?

"I want you back, Aziel." Sabi ko dito, naiiyak pero pinipigilan lang. "Tangina, bakit kasi nakakamiss ka?"

Narinig ko itong napasinghap kaya medyo nilingon ko siya. I saw him not looking at me, he's staring at something I don't even know. Maybe it interests him more than I do.

"Sleep already." Seryoso nitong sabi.

I put my head back again on the table, inaantok na. Nakapikit na rin ang mata ko pero ayaw ko pang matapos ang pag uusap namin. I feel like hindi na ito mauulit.

I'm scared.

"Ayaw ko." Pagmamatigas ko.

"Edi jan ka matulog." Malamig nitong sabi kaya napanguso ako, hindi niya naman iyon makikita.

"Okay." I agreed. "If ito ang gusto mo, gagawin ko."

"The fuck?" Inis nitong sabi kaya napaayos ako ng upo.

Medyo napapapikit na but I tried my best to look at him.

"I told you, I want you back. I'll do everything to win you back, Aziel." Seryoso kong sabi dito pero tingin ko, nagmumukha akong nagmamaktol.

Napailing iling naman ito. "Bahala ka, Ellie."

"I'm serious!" I said bago yumuko ulit sa mesa.

Antok na ko. Antok na antok na, grabe na rin ang epekto sakin ng alak. Mas nakaka antok. Now, I can't wait to sleep. It's gonna be a peaceful one for sure.

Tapos nakahingi na rin ako ng chance kay Aziel, I hope he agree though. Pero kahit hindi naman ay susuyuin ko pa rin siya, liligawan in other term, hanggang sa siya na mismo ang magpa alis sakin. Or kung feeling ko, pag ayaw niya talaga.