BTS Eighth Member | The Life: Year 2014

Chapter 30- I Love You?

Author's Note at the End :)

July 26th, 2014:

I woke up early in the morning due to the jet lag and my mind still reeling from all the emotions I felt yesterday. I ended up not answering Jongin last night, instead, I changed into my pajamas and went straight to bed, too tired to do anything else.

I slip out of the bed and look over at Yoona who was sharing a bed with another staff member that must have come in later. I tip-toe to the bathroom with my phone so as to not wake them up.

I close the door to the bathroom and call Jongin to talk through what happened last night. He was in China right now, so I knew he would be awake and probably on a break eating lunch since it was noon where he was. I press to call him and he picks up almost right away.

"Y/N?" he asks, a little annoyance in his voice.

"Hi oppa," I say, guilt in my own voice.

"What happened yesterday? Why didn't you answer me?" he huffs.

"I'm sorry, I just got really emotional and had to walk it off, and then I was just too tired so I went to sleep," I answer.

"Are you ok?" he questions, his voice going softer.

"I don't know oppa. I just felt so guilty and uncomfortable about having a photoshoot at a memorial for such a horrific moment in history and no one was getting as worked up as me, so I just started getting confused and just... I don't know, it was aggravating," I explain, "and then you weren't supportive when I needed you to be, so I just felt so alone".

Jongin doesn't answer right away. The only way I knew he hadn't hung up was the noise of people talking around him.

"I'm sorry," he finally says, "I should have realised you just wanted someone to vent to. I just don't like seeing you upset so my first reaction will always be to fix things or try to see the positive for you," he apologises, "are you feeling better now though? Did the boys help you?"

"Yeah, yeah they did. Yoongi-oppa went on a walk with me and Yoona unnie let me go to sleep without taking my makeup off," I chuckle, "I actually look horrendous right now, oh my god," I say looking at myself in the mirror properly for the first time.

"I'm sure it's not that bad. Lee Y/N could never look horrendous," states Jongin making me laugh.

"How are things going for you? Not too hard having to go without Kris-sunbaenim?" I ask.

"No, it's not too bad. We've finally been getting in the groove of things," he replies, "and you were so right, the thrill of being on stage is addicting... which you probably already know since I definitely text about it too much, I'm sorry," he chuckles.

"Oh my gosh, don't be sorry! I love it when you get so happy and excited after concerts, it always puts a smile on my face," I answer, smiling as I thought about all his ecstatic texts.

"Urgh, I wish I could hug you, kiss you right now," Jongin says, his voice going quieter a bit.