BTS Eighth Member | The Life: Year 2014

Chapter 55- Don't Want To Move On

December 3rd, 2014:

We had flown to Hong Kong for MAMA 2014 and we went straight to the venue from the airport. I was wearing ripped jeans and a hoodie. To anyone looking at me, it was just a normal white hoodie with a tiny bear paw on the left chest, but to me, it was a blanket of security. It was the only hoodie Jongin had given me since I kept commenting on how cold I was on one of our dates and it just made me feel the comfort Jongin had given me. I hadn't even realized what hoodie I had taken until Yoona asked about it on our way to the airport in Korea, but by that time it was too late to change.

Nevertheless, ever since my break-up with Jongin, I had started to get quieter and become more of a recluse. I felt like I had yet again lost a large reason for my happiness. The boys tried their best to cheer me up and distract me, but there was only so much they could do to help. I noticed this myself and tried to act normal, more upbeat, however, this depressive mood was harder for me to move past than those I'd had recently. Thankfully, though, this also meant that I put all my attention on our performances, trying to do anything to not have to think about my social life.

We get to the venue and are brought to our "room" within a large convention-like room (they had gotten wall dividers and created changing rooms for artists within a much larger room). I put my bag in the cubicle within the BTS changing room made for me.

"I'm gonna go to the washroom," I tell Yoona as I walked out.

I follow the signs pointing to the restrooms, but someone calls my name. I turn around and see Jieun (IU) walking toward me.

"Hey Y/N!" Jieun says happily.

"Hi, unnie!" I reply smiling.

"It's been so long," she says, hugging me once she'd reached me.

"I know, we've been busy," I reply, the smile still on my face.

"How have you been?" she asks cautiously.

"Uh... well, I've been better not going to lie, but you gotta keep going," I answer honestly.

"Yeah... I was so sad seeing you had broken up on the news. Dispatch are bastards, " Jieun questions.

"Yes, they are," I say upset, "but we both agreed it would be better for us and our groups to separate," I reply sadly, "ease the hate".

"People can really be so mean, especially when they don't have to say it to your face," she adds, "I sometimes wonder if people forget we are indeed humans too".

I nod sadly, silence hanging around us for a few seconds.

"But what about you? I know you've been busy," I ask, trying to take the focus of the conversation away from me.

"I've been surprisingly good honestly, tired as always though," she smiles, "but don't let me keep you! I just wanted to say hi, we can catch up some more later".

"Thanks," I smile back, "I'm glad to finally see you in person. We have to talk more later".