I Needed You

2

After I calmed down, Colby and I agreed to meet up the next day at a trail, just to walk and talk. We were to catch up with each other's lives as friends.

I waited for him beside the mouth of the trail, noticing the dirt ground was worn down by hundreds of footprint marks, showing that this trail was used regularly, though not a person was in sight today.

I heard footsteps behind me, and I turned around to see Colby trying to creep up on me, moving slowly and trying his best to be quiet until he was spotted.

"Aw, dammit," He said with disappointment, though he had a wide grin on his face, "I was going to scare you,"

"You're such a dork," I shook my head, a giggle escaping my lips that I covered with a hand.

"You still do that, huh?" Colby asked, and when I looked at him with confusion he elaborated, "You cover your mouth when you laugh,"

"I haven't changed that much," I motioned to the path before us, "You ready?"

He didn't respond but began walking, not pausing for me to catch up though he wasn't going fast, instead strolling along and admiring what was around him.

"So, how's Youtube going?" I asked, figuring I'd start a conversation with something light yet easy to answer.

Colby didn't think it was such an easy question, however, "Well, views started dropping drastically back in August, so this year we came up with Twenty Five by Twenty Five, but that's not working out too well, either," His hand went to his ear, twisting his piercing. That was something I noticed he did when he was upset or stressed.

"Oh," I didn't know what else to say, so I asked another question, "How's Sam and the Trapboys doing?"

Colby didn't seem happy about that question, either, "Jake moved out last year, and Corey moved out a couple months ago. It's just me and Sam now,"

"I'm sure the house is quiet," I chuckled sarcastically.

"Yeah," He sighed before looking over at me, "Tell me about what's up with you. Uh," Colby paused, thinking about what he wanted to say, "How's your career going? With Tiktok and all?"

"I'm almost a professional dancer," I joked, "I have about five hundred thousand followers on Tiktok, so that's cool. I only have about twenty thousand on Youtube but I kind of fell out of it so I'm alright with it,"

"How's the baby doing?" Colby looked over at me, and I could see he was trying to hide his excitement, but that would change soon.

"Uh," I cleared my throat, my pointer finger and thumb going to my nose as I thought about how to phrase the news.

"The baby, um," I paused to try and swallow what felt like a painful marble in my throat, "The baby passed away, actually. I had a miscarriage,"

I heard the sudden stop of his feet, and I looked back to see Colby frozen in place, his eyes fixated on the ground.

"What?" His voice was quiet, his tone unrecognizable and his face unreadable.

"The baby die-"

"I heard that part," Colby's eyes shot up to mine, his tone harsh, "Why did nobody tell me?!"

"I-i had no way to contact-"

"Bullshit. You're telling me you couldn't have had Angelina tell Aryia to tell me?" He walked up to me, and I didn't try and talk over him. He was grieving, very similar to how I did when my father died.

"Colby, both of us knew I can't have children and-"

"No the hell I did not!" His voice rose, his eyes squinted as he looked at me. "Who's the father of that child, huh? It's not some rando off the street! It's me! ME!" Colby stabbed into his chest with a finger as he spoke.

"Yeah, and I was going to raise the baby on my own! It was going to be the two of us, okay? Just me and the baby, and we'd be happy. She'd never know who her father is, because I'd only want her to feel loved. Me. and. Her."

His tone softened, and his eyes widened. Colby's teeth poked out from underneath his lips, the hint of a smirk returning, "It was a girl?"

"Yeah," I whispered, nodding. "She was,"

"Oh, no. Don't cry," I didn't realize what he was talking about until I wiped my face. Within seconds, he was walking up to me and had his arms around me, swaying me like Corey used to do.

"I'm just upset, I didn't mean to upset you okay?" Colby's face was buried in my shoulder, and I knew that Colby needed that hug more than anything.

He just found out that his daughter that neither of us got to meet was no longer on this earth. And I could sympathize with that.

Colby pulled away, sniffing once and wiping his eyes. I forgot what it was like to see him upset, to see how his emotions change more dramatically and quicker than normal mood swings.

After the both of us calmed down, we continued walking on the trail in silence. I didn't know whether or not I was being awkward, just because I was trying to let him have time to get his emotions under control.

There was something about being with Colby that I missed, a feeling I couldn't exactly explain. Though I knew part of our downfall had to do with us moving way too fast, and then I was simply in denial when I knew he was cheating.

I haven't seen Alex since last year. I had her blocked on every social media and had her number blocked on my phone. I have yet to see her in public, and something deep down tells me that she probably moved far away. Not out of California, but far enough that we don't accidentally run into each other.

But I'm happy that I'm reconnecting with Colby now, simply because we were so close before and ever since I woke up in the hospital I have missed him being around.

I know that even if it wasn't for Angelina and Sam breaking us apart then I still would have left him, it just would have been more difficult for me.

But now that Angelina was gone, I knew that it would be easier to keep this under the radar.

And I was incredibly excited about that.