I Needed You

36

Taylor's pov

Colby's parents coming was a blessing.  Finally, someone made us all sleep, spread out throughout the hospital room.

I had woken up last out of the five of us, feeling refreshed energy wise but not anything else.

I offered to get people food, and agreeing on McDonald's it wasn't that hard for me to get seven of the same thing with a couple bottles of Sprite.

I took the drive back to focus on what I could be walking in to.  Ever since the accident, I didn't leave Colby's side for more than twenty minutes max.  

I could go back to find out he's dead.  That he woke up for a couple minutes and died.  Had a heart attack, who knows.

I didn't want to see that.  I didn't want to picture it but I couldn't help it.

I slammed my hand on the steering wheel, feeling my sanity drip away with each smack.  

I was going crazy.  I knew it, I always have.  But now I'm admitting it and damn it feels fantastic.

It gives me a reason to do things I normally wouldn't.  I would get out of all legal trouble on the case of insanity, and be sent to an asylum for who knows how long but at least I know I'd get out.

I wouldn't do anything worth that until Colby was dead.  I couldn't do anything knowing I'd go home or go into the courtroom to see his blue eyes, laced with disappointment, confusion and hatred.

My thoughts were dark as I made my way back into the hospital, and I oddly found Amanda waiting outside of the room, as if she was looking for something.

Her eyes laid on mine and instantly I knew it was me she was searching for.  The two of us grew a closer bond over the past day and a half, mostly because she sat next to me for hours on end.

"What's going on?" I asked, slowing my pace to take in my surroundings better, "I can see it in your eyes,"

"You won't believe it," She smiled, but raised a hand in front of her to stop me from coming into the room.

She shut herself back into Colby's room, and I had a fear that everything I thought about on the drive home was coming true. 

But she wouldn't have smiled, right? If Colby was dead?

Amanda reopened the door, taking the McDonald's bags from my hands as everyone left the room, even Colby's parents.

"What's going on?" I asked again, noticing how Sam's eyes were clearly watering, "What's wrong?"

"Go in," Stas nodded, her smile bittersweet as she motioned to the door.

I didn't hesitate to open the door, but I did freeze for just a moment once it was.

There he was, Colby, laying down.  Looking at me, with open eyes, and a grin on his face.

"Hey baby," His voice came out raspy, simply from the disuse.

"Oh my god," Colby's voice set me in motion, sent me walking up to him and leaning over the bed.  Grabbing his face in my hands, pushing my lips gently on to his.

He rested his hands on top of mine, and I could feel him smile underneath me.

I pulled away, feeling the adrenaline from seeing him awake moments ago come crashing down.  Leaving me in a sobbing mess.

"I thought you were dead," I cried out, punching my fist into the flimsy hospital bed, "I thought you weren't going to live,"

"I know, but I'm here now, okay?" Colby put his fingers underneath my chin, "I'm here,"

It seemed so stupid that he was the one comforting me since he just woke up from a coma and didn't have the energy for me and my distress.

"Please don't do that ever again," I wiped my face messily, "The doctors said that you wouldn't live, they said you might not wake up,"

"I know," He whispered, brushing my hair behind my ear, "I heard everything,"

Colby swallowed before continuing, "I know I'm not going to make it out of here,"

"No," I shook my head, "No don't say that.  Of course you will.  You're Colby motherfucking Brock.  You can survive anything,"

"But not this," I took in his pale face as he continued to speak, "Taylor, I love you.  Please, please please never forget that,"

His lips met my forehead quickly before my lips once again.

"I love you too," I whispered. I didn't even care that the tears were falling freely now and made trying to see him impossible.

All I needed was to hear his voice.  "I need you Colby please don't say this stuff,"

"I can feel it in me," Colby admitted, and I dared to reach up to brush through his hair with my fingers, "I can feel my body giving up," He swallowed, as if he was struggling to speak, "Any minute now the doctors will be in here and they will pull us apart for the very last time,"

"Colby," I sobbed out, trying to hug his body as best as I could from his laying position, "Please stop.  Don't talk like this.  Please.  You'll be okay.  You'll be okay, okay? Tell me you'll be alright," When he didn't respond I lifted my head, raising my voice, "Tell me! TELL ME!"

I could feel my heart breaking as he stared at me, his eyes seeming to freeze as he cleared his throat, "Taylor I'm not going to make it.  So listen to me,"

He waited for me to nod before speaking to me again, "I love you.  And I want you to find yourself a nice guy.  Even if you never truly love him, just shut the fuck up.  Just for a little, alright? It's the best choice for you,"

I could hear the heart monitor slow down, slow down to a scary kind of slow.  Just like he said, the doctors were entering the room, trying to pull me away from Colby.

But time seemed to be going slow, and I could hear him say one more thing, "And just let me love you," I heard as he took one long breath, "From heaven,"

The heart monitor let out a nonstop beep, signaling that Colby's soul has left his body.

"Colby!" His hands fell from mine as his head fell back into the pillow that held it in his coma, "COLBY!"

Two doctors had to grab me by my arms to drag me out, and though I was screaming and crying for Colby they did nothing to help me.

Nobody could ease the pain in my heart.  Not ever.  

I needed you, Colby Brock.  

And now you're gone

THE END