I Needed You

33

Colby's pov

I didn't understand what was going on, or where I was.

I could tell that something was off, because I felt like I was in a empty space that went on forever.

I gave up on walking and shouting for Taylor and Sam when I heard their voices, coming at me from all sides.

"He was not peaceful!" Sam's voice echoed louder in my head as the bantering continued, "He was just too damn stubborn to show you how much pain he was in! You had no fucking clue what happened while you were away and sometimes-"

Sam had stopped himself, a smart thing to do in my opinion.

He had already said too much.  Way too fucking much.

I didn't tell Taylor about my headaches simply because all I had to do was take medication for them to go away.

It wasn't that big of a deal.

"Sometimes what?" Taylor's voice was cold and almost quiet, "Go on, Big Mouth, speak,"

Silence took over this never ending void as every voice came to a stop.

I wish I could get out if this nightmare and stop it all.

"Sometimes," Sam paused to clear his throat, "I wish he never fucking found you,"

"Hey!" I shouted for the first time in a while, "Hey, you take that back right now!"

It shocked me that Sam felt like that towards Taylor and I'm relationship.

I knew we were meant to be together and we were just taking it slower than the first time.

But I was ignored, and my voice echoed around, like my hearing was fading in and out.

"That's it," Taylor snapped, "Fuck you, Samuel Golbach.  I hope you burn in hell,"

Everything was quiet, and I heard a faint click of what I could guess was a door before anyone else said anything.

I felt like I was listening to an intense podcast or something and the thought of that made me feel like shit.

"You didn't have to go so hard on her," Kat said softly, most likely to her boyfriend.

"She's going through a lot right now," Stas agreed, "It's difficult for her to see him like this,"

Him? Who's him?

Oh. Me.

"It's not any different with us!" Sam raised his voice at the two girls, "Why do all of you act like she's our top priority and main concern, when right now it's Colby.  Colby!  Not her, not that fucking asshole who only plays the victim card with all of us!"

"Hey!" Amanda barked, and I could hear the sound of a chair sliding across the floor, "We are all upset right now Sam.  You don't need to get all pissy with us because Taylor isn't here to take it anymore,"

"Good fucking riddance!" Sam exclaimed.

I didn't understand what was exactly going on, but I knew that Taylor wasn't around so it couldn't be good.

"Sam you need to calm down," Kat sighed, "Colby wouldn't want you to be fighting with her like that.  Imagine how he would feel right now,"

It was so quiet for so long I thought I died.

"You're right," Sam agreed, sounding almost reluctant, "I need to apologize,"

"Yeah," Kat whispered, so quiet I could barely hear her, "Yeah you do,"

"I'll go find her," Amanda offered, her cheery voice returning, "I'll have her calmed down enough by the time we get back,".

I heard another snap, probably the door closing again, and silence once again followed.

It hurt my head to even try and process what was happening so I would try to give concentrating a break and try later.

I just hope that Sam and Taylor's argument was something that could be repaired, which I'm sure it could be.

Sam would never admit that he was hurting, at least not to anyone but Kat or myself.  It was just in his nature.

Taylor, oh God, Taylor, wasn't quite the same.  It would only take one question for her to spill everything, up until I was reunited with her.

Now she's more closed off, guarding her heart and mind with thousands and thousands of doors and seven locks on each one.

I'm afraid I'm part of the reason she's like that now.

I remember when I found out she was sneaking around with Corey.  I had walked into his room and there she was, sitting on his bed.

She looked so happy.  I could see it underneath the layers of shock in her dark eyes.

I had felt hurt, to say the least.  It was like I was losing her to one of my best friends.

That's probably how she felt with Alex and I.

I haven't seen Alex since July of last year, when I broke off our deal.  I know she's still out there, and I'm sure she's just planning to do the same thing, sabotage, to some other happy couple.

I wish Taylor and I could have stayed a happy couple.  I wish the baby would have survived, so no matter what I'd be tied to her for the rest of my life.

But I also wish I was there to comfort her as the baby passed.

I always wanted to be a father, have a couple of kids and raise them just as well, if not better than my own dad.

I don't even think my parents know about me and Taylor.

They know we had broke things off, but I didn't give them details besides telling them it was my fault.

I didn't tell them that I had started seeing her again.  My mom would be incredibly excited to hear it.

She loved it when I talked about her, all the things I had to say and all the pictures I showed.

I told her she was the one and she agreed without batting an eye.

I wonder if anyone told my parents what was happening to me now.

Oh God, I pray they did.  It wouldn't be fair for them to find out that something was wrong with their youngest son in passing, and not in person.

But all I can do right now is hope.