Xiao hunts Childe for sport

9

Childe is feeling a lot of things right now.

He's unsure how to deal with any of that he just witnessed.

Zhongli loves him. He just said it out loud. To Xiao. In front of Aether. He sounded perfectly serious too - that wasn't a joke.

Childe might faint actually.

A bit lightheaded, Childe heads up to his room. He clutches the box with the chopsticks close to his chest. Zhongli...

He didn't hear the entire conversation - only since Xiao asked Zhongli about his feelings for Childe. Zhongli's answer hit him right in his chest and squeezed his heart in ways Childe can't deal with.

Zhongli loves him.

The sentence repeats over and over in his head.

Love.

Love...

What does it mean to love?

Tartaglia loves the battle. He loves fighting - he loves the adrenaline it gives him. Tartaglia loves the way it feels when he crushes enemies under his feet, the way it feels to break their bones with ease. He loves the way their blood shines on the pure white snow, tainting it red.

Ajax loves his family. He loves them so much he would kill for them. They're the only ones that love him. There is nothing else he let closer to his heart.

Did Childe ever love anyone? Is Childe loved by anyone?

Ajax is loved by his family, but they don't know Tartaglia. They don't know how bloodthirsty he is, they don't know how the only thing on his mind is to fight and to kill on a constant loop. All he does is feed them constant lies.

Little Teucer has no idea all of his toys are the result of dirty money. People died for everything he has. His family has a better life because of him - but they don't know just how much chaos Tartaglia causes daily.

There is also the fact of the mission in Liyue harbor. Tartaglia tried to steal Rex Lapis' gnosis - he awakened an old god and Liyue harbor almost got destroyed in the process. Yes, it was Zhongli's plan in the end - but he would have stepped in the moment he realized the Qixing can't handle the situation.

He would have stepped in the moment people started dying. It was only luck that kept the situation from escalating.

How can Zhongli love him? Does anyone love Tartaglia? Is anyone capable of loving such a person?

Zhongli says he loves Childe, but what does that mean? Who does he love? Does he love Tartaglia? Does he love Ajax?

What does it mean to be Childe, to be Tartaglia, to be Ajax?

Ajax knows who he is - under Childe, under Tartaglia - he is simply Ajax. Does Zhongli know that? Does Zhongli even know that Ajax exists?

Another question - what does Childe feel?

How does one differentiate between romantic love and platonic love?

Yes, he's aware that he has a crush on Zhongli as much as he likes to deny it - but love? Is that what love is? Or is it just lust?

It always was just a thought that would never be reality - it would never be real, it was never tangible. A relationship with Zhongli always felt unreachable - unobtainable.

Is this love? What is this?

Ajax doesn't know - he doesn't know if he'll ever know. What does he know?

He sits on the bed quietly, his eyes drifting around the room.

What should he do? What can he do?

His eyes fall on the box in his hands. Maybe he should start with this. Ajax opens the box, taking the chopsticks within out delicately. They almost feel fragile in his hands, the pattern seemingly shimmering as Ajax studies it closely.