Xiao hunts Childe for sport

17

Zhongli stares up at the dark ceiling. His thoughts are swirling in his head, building unimaginable chaos.

Mostly he's thinking about the kitchen incident.

Childe certainly had been... forward. It's not something Zhongli expected - he was caught completely off guard.

Childe got so close to him - it had been hard to keep himself in check. If Teucer hadn't come in Zhongli would have acted rashly. It's for the better that they got interrupted.

Still, Zhongli can't help but find the loss of that opportunity painful. He would have- he would have...

What would he have done, exactly? Kissed Ajax? Have their first kiss been somewhere as mundane as the kitchen? Childe doesn't deserve to be let down like that.

No, Zhongli has to make sure everything runs perfectly. Childe had brought color back into his long life. He only deserves the best courting the former archon can provide. Everything else would only taint what they have now.

Childe trusted him with his past. It was important to him and it left countless scars. Zhongli sees how haunted Ajax still is every time he looks him in the eyes. It's very rare, but sometimes, when Childe drifts off during their time together, there is an empty look in his eyes.

There is no light in those cloudy eyes then; trapped in memories. Each time Zhongli notices those rare occurrences, his heart aches for Childe.

It was one such moment that helped him recognize his feelings. The surge of protectiveness he felt that day was unmistakable. He wishes nothing more than to erase the pain Childe feels - but that's not how the world works, it's a foolish, irrational thought.

Ajax wouldn't want to forget it anyway. It's what made him who he is now.

Zhongli respects that. He knows all too well that painful experiences shape a person - no matter how painful they seem at first. He experiences many things in his life ranging from wonderful to heart-wrenching.

There is nothing that could make him want to forget about his experiences, however. Yes, he might suffer because of his past but it shaped him. All those people he met, all those people he lost. They mean something to Zhongli.

Yes, Zhongli understands that Childe wouldn't want him to take the pain away at all.

All he needs is a shoulder to lean on. Zhongli wants nothing more than to be by Childe's side and be the rock he needs. He's certain now that Childe wants the same.

Why is he feeling so nervous then?

The proposal is very forward by human standards, Zhongli is aware of that. However, Zhongli lives by contracts- that's how he's always been, since eons.

He shall give his heart away, to get another in return.

But what if it's too forward? What if Childe does return his feelings but isn't ready for such commitment yet?

Then you two aren't meant to be together yet. The logical part of Zhongli's brain whispers. You love eternally and faithfully, until the end of time. You will never break a contract.

Is he being too rigid?

Zhongli sighs. His thoughts are running around in circles now. He sits up, giving up on sleeping.

As he stares out of the window, a thought comes to mind.

What would Guizhong tell him?

Zhongli ponders over that for a moment.

First, she would ask him if he was serious about Childe - a definite yes.

Then...

Then she would ask him what he wants to do.