Xiao hunts Childe for sport

20

Childe is the happiest man alive right now. He practically skips into the kitchen, humming a cheerful tune. Aether is already getting started on breakfast. Childe joins them in the kitchen, getting started on the almond tofu for Xiao.

"Isn't that earring Zhongli's?" Aether asks him after a while, curiosity evident in their voice.

"Uh, yes." Childe almost drops the knife he's holding. "Despite the proposing in advance thing, Zhongli never bought rings. We improvised." It's embarrassing saying that out loud.

"That's cute." Aether comments, their face set in a happy smile. "I have to admit, I'm baffled you guys just... skipped dating and jumped into marriage. I didn't think you were a guy that would do something like that."

"I didn't think so either." Childe answers with a shrug, slightly embarrassed still. "I guess there is just something different about Zhongli. I don't regret agreeing."

Aether looks thoughtful. "...Hey, you're kinda friends with Xiao now, right?" They sound hesitant as they ask, almost bashful. "...I kinda..."

"...Wait." Childe stops cooking, turning around to face Aether instead. "That time when we talked about your crush- you meant Xiao?" He makes sure to speak quietly, not wanting anyone else to overhear. "Really? Him?"

"Hey, don't judge me." Aether pouts, but nods. "I'm going to be honest, I don't really know how to approach him with romantic intent at all. I don't even know if he's ready for that..."

Childe isn't surprised by that issue. Xiao can be difficult. "I don't think he has a lot of friends - or physical contact. I hugged him once and he froze up completely."

Aether nods, frown on their face. "Do you have any ideas? I don't want to mess him up somehow."

Since when did Childe become the relationship expert? He literally got engaged like 30 minutes ago. "Uh, you probably won't get far romantically for a while. He won't even admit we're friends." Childe shrugs, knowing fully well that any advice he gives is probably going to be garbage. "Be friends first I guess? Hang out? Worry about love later."

"You know what? You might be onto something there." Oh no, please don't take Childe's advice. "I'll keep it in mind. Thanks."

Childe regrets speaking. "No problem, Aether!" He probably sent his friend into a long pining adventure now. Whoops.

Once breakfast is on the table, Xiao finds his almond tofu on his plate. They're all made exactly how he likes it best. Maybe this stupid Childe hell was worth it after all. He digs in, letting out a satisfied sigh. It would be perfect if Venti wasn't laughing at him. "What."

"You haven't changed, friend!" He giggles, looking so amused and giggly that Xiao wants to kick him. "Almond tofu is your one true love."

"Shut up." He hisses, threatening Venti with a chopstick. Why did that mess of an Archon have to sit next to him?

"Is almond tofu really that good?" Teucer asks him with a tilt of his head. "I never tried it."

BLASPHEMY.

Reluctantly, Xiao slides a portion over to Teucer. "Try it. It's too much for me anyway." It's not but the others don't need to know that.

"Thanks, mister Xiao!" Teucer digs in happily, seemingly enjoying the dish.

Venti eyes him knowingly. Xiao throws a chopstick at him, but Venti, as always, evades his attack.

Drat.

Aether shakes their head at their antics. Xiao feels that in his soul. "Anyway," he starts, wanting to change the topic, "when's the wedding?"

To his great delight both Zhongli and Childe choke on their food at his question.