Bold, Breathless Love

The Secret

The angry ocean waves crashed against the huge stones and splashed everywhere. Steven's three hundred dollar gym shoes were soaked, but he didn't care. He looked far out into the horizon and then released a deep inhalation of breath.

The pain was still there, if anything, it had worsened, but Steven had found a way to master his pain. It had been almost a month since they had come back from the Dells, and each day was harder than the day before.

With the help of his good buddies, Steven was back on track with his life, he learned to keep his feelings to himself. He died a little everyday on the inside, but Steven pushed forward aggressively for the sake of his mental state. It was no easy task, especially since he watched Abby and Jeff relationship blossom right in front of him.

A weak smile creased his face, at least she looked happy, he thought, nothing else mattered to him but her happiness. It seemed Jeff was doing a great job keeping her happy. She always had a smile on her face when he passed her in the hallway. She looked radiant and beautiful, and happy next to Jeff.

Choking back a painful sob, he brought the cigarette to his mouth and inhaled sharply. He wasn't going to allow himself to fall back into the black hole like the last time, he had pulled himself together and acted like his old self. He was the only one that knew how deep his wound was. Steven had decided that he would never again allow anyone that close to him again.

Abby will always be the one and only woman he would ever love, nothing would ever change that, but he swore to himself that he would never allow another woman to destroy his inner peace again.

He would love Abby and watch her blossom from afar, and even though it was one of the hardest things he had ever had to do, he loved her enough to let her go.

You haven't let her go you fool!

The little voice inside of him argued.

You spy on her at night, you follow her throughout the day from a distance, you still long to hold her in your arms! You will never be rid yourself of her, your love for her is like a drug that runs in your veins, she will always be your one and only bold, breathless love and she will be the death of you if you don't move on with your life!

Closing his eyes, Steven took another deep inhalation of breath, and then expelled it slowly, his family and friends had done an intervention and saved him from destroying his life, and he was very grateful to them for caring about him so much to interfere.

To the world he played out his role as the Steven they once had known, but that Steven lived no more, it was all a front he presented so his family and friends won't be worried about him. He covered his pain and suffering very well with a fake smile and the way he walked and talked, but deep down he was the only one that knew how he really felt.

His mind was like the angry waves of the ocean and his heart felt like a tortured beast who couldn't find his way out of the darkness and into the light again. He was in hell and he struggled on a daily basis to stay sane, but he knew soon he would lose the battle. No one not even his mother who knew him well suspected anything, and it was better this way for all concerned.

***************

The iPhone rang and rang and Claire finally answered it, "What is it this time Abby?" Her frustration was evident in her voice.

"Claire I...I.....I think I'm pregnant!"

"Holy shit, no way!" Claire screamed. "Are you sure?"

"Yes, I just took the pregnancy test and I am pregnant."

"Who's baby is it Abby?" Claire asked, her heart stopped beating until she heard the answer to her question.

"You know I haven't slept with Jeff, why would you ask such a question?"