The Sultan and I

Chapter 26

The Sultan and I
Chapter 26

The black procession for my Omer has started.

From the balcony where I was sitting, I saw Zahir carrying the small coffin of our son on his right shoulder together with Jalil and his other officials. They led the procession for my son while a group of officials followed after them to pay respects to the Sehzade. They are all wearing black as a sign of respect to my son.

At dahil bawal na sumali sa procession ang mga babae ay wala akong ibang nagawa kundi ang maupo sa balcony at panoorin nalang ang lahat ng nangyayari.

They are going to send my son to his burial site, in the Palace of the Sultans, to his resting place.

I can't even cry anymore.

The amount of pain I'm feeling right now, watching the small coffin that the Sultan is carrying on his shoulder, is so numbing that I can't even cry.

I was wearing a black dress with a black shawl covering my head. My eyes are dead, as is my heart.

Nakaupo ako doon habang nasa tabi ko naman nakaluhod ang kanina pa umiiyak na si Eda.

"P-please, forgive me, my Sultana." She cried, her tears falling non-stop down her face while kneeling. "H-halime Sultana threatened me that if I did not follow her orders, she would kill my whole family. Please forgive me, my Sultana. I never wish for the Sehzade or Damla to die."

Pero wala na akong maramdaman.

I realized that after Damla and my son died, my heart turned cold and hard.

I can no longer feel any sympathy. My son was killed right in front of me without any sympathy from anyone around me. So, why would I give something they refuse to give?

"Tell me what the other things you're hiding from me, Eda." My voice is cold, my heart is empty. "You should start telling me everything right now, without any lies and deception."

I'm not even looking at her while speaking. My eyes are fixated on the painful scene that is in front of me.

Kaagad namang natigil sa pag-iyak si Eda at nagtaas ng mukha.

"Y-yes, my Sultana." Lumuluha parin niyang sagot ngunit ngayon ay medyo kumalma na siya. "I will tell you nothing but the truth."

I did not reply.

I allowed her to say something.

Ngunit hindi ako naging handa sa unang isiniwalat niya.

"The f-former Haseki Halime Sultan h-has ordered me to put something on the drinks I'm serving to you daily." She confessed.

"And what is that, Eda?" Ang walang kabuhay-buhay kong tanong habang nakatingin parin sa kabaong ng anak ko. "What did you put in my drinks that you're serving to me every day?"

But what she said next crashed my whole world in an instant.

"S-she made me put infertility medicine in your drinks, my Sultana!" She bursts into tears. "You will never be able to bear a child for the Sultan again!"

Doon na ako mabilis na napalingon sa kanya at hindi makapaniwalang napatingin sa umiiyak niyang mukha.

I know that they had done me wrong. But I had no idea that they had done me even worse without my knowing.

At nang makita niya ang sobrang sakit at pagkalito na gumuhit sa mukha ko ay kaagad siyang lumuhod sa harapan ko at nagmakaawa ulit.

"P-please, forgive me, my Sultana!" She begged on her knees. "I only did it because Haseki had threatened to kill my family! Please forgive me, my Sultana. Please, forgive me!"