I walk down the street, and shove the earphones in my ears. The music is loud, the singer is angry. I take deep breaths. Images start to flash in my mind; I shove them down and focus on my music. The music. Only the music. My fingers start to follow the lines the music makes. The notes jump around. My pace matches the music. I start into a sprint. The wind rushes through my hair I let it wash out the thoughts. I reach my building and quickly open the door and run up the stairs. I run past the door to my flat. I soon reach the thick metal door leading to the roof. I open it and let it slam shut. My breathing is quick and heavy. I fall to the ground. My hands jump around as I struggle and fight. I take deep breaths. The wind is strong and my ears are numb with the brisk cold.
slowly, I get up and walk towards the old hollow air conditioner. I pull out the guitar and faded notebook. I open the latter up to a blank page. The lines come and the notes start to talk to me. I feel them from deep inside me. They are mad and hurt. But then they are uncontrollable and form themselves into a confusing composition. I play them; they are me. closing my eyes I lay down, the guitar lying on my stomach. I breathe in the notes that whirl off the guitar and out into the wind, getting lost in the air we breathe. The notes mix with my lungs, then my blood, then into my heart, then pumped out in the reverse order. Everything else is irrelevant. Everything else is dropped.
---
Once I sign in with the girl at the desk I find our corner backstage. I can hear the crowds chatter and occasional screams. The air is thick, the walls dirty, and everything is covered in splatters of neon paint. I reach the rest of the band members. My heart is racing but my body feels numb. Jonny’s eyes are bloodshot and dark. Tatty is hopping around the room filled with musicians. Suddenly Rich comes over to me.
“Your little puppy isn’t here.” He says into my ear.
I turn to him and grab and yank his ear, hard. He lets out a small yelp.
“Enough!” Jonny snaps at us. I glare at him.
“Did you get my new CD?” I ask him ignoring Rich’s rude gestures.
“Yeah.” He advoids my eyes.
“We’ll work on them after this. I think one of them could be our opener for the finals.” I tell him.
“What makes you think we’re going to get through to the finals?” Jonny asks me, suddenly staring into my eyes.
“Because we’re that good.” I tell him. Tatty stops hopping, Rich and Gret are staring at me.
The Tatty speaks up, “Darn right, we are!”
Rich lets out a whoop and Jonny nods, and then he drifts off away into his head. I check my phone. Nothing. I call Aaron again. Goes to voicemail. I put away my phone and start stretching my fingers.
Then it’s time. We all exchange looks, when Jonny’s eyes rest on me, they look pained. I ignore it. The crowd greets us with cheers, a small collective roar. The lights are bright, but I try to see out into the audience, I don’t recognize any face. I pick up the guitar and tune it. Rich rolls the drums, and Tatty tunes the bass. No, she’s off on one. I stare at her, she smiles at me. I frown. Then Rich counts us in. It’s too late.
I start the quick strumming then switch to the picking. The bass part is completly off now. I look over to Tatty and see she’s not staying still in one place. Jonny starts up. His voice is pained and he eases into the scream. Except, his voice breaks. I do a few stronger strums to cover it a bit. Rich misses a beat. My eyes flick to the audience. He’s not there. The song continues. Jonny fights for it, too much though. Suddenly Tatty loses her balance and stumbles a bit. I pick up a solo between the verse and chorus. It’ll throw them but they’ll pick it back up. My fingers move fast and the strums come hard. I let the anger out. Jonny slides into the chorus after I finish. It won us some extra loud screams. Then we finish.
The crowd isn’t forgiving.
The lights go off. That’s the judges’ decision.
We’re out of the competition.
I look about one last time and from the darkness I realize he didn’t come. We all walk off the stage. I sit down. And stare at the wall. Jonny comes and sits down beside me.
“I’m sorry my voice broke, it got too much. The- the emotion. I was still thinking about the fight the other day-” Says Jonny softly to me. I shake my head, and then I suddenly stand up. It’s too close. I walk to Gret as she comes from the sound booth. We exchange looks. Tatty comes over to me and drapes herself on my body. I wrap one arm around her, letting the other hang. The smell of alcohol is on her clothes, her skin. I pull away.
“Why are you drunk, Tatty?” I ask her. My voice is empty.
She shakes her head, “I like beer. Is that really so bad?” I stare at her in the eyes. They are cloudy and pained. I look away quickly.
“This is all your fault, Kayla.” Says Rich suddenly.
I snap my head up towards him, “What?”
“You heard me.” Rich challenges me.
Jonny stands up, I feel his stare on my skin, “Don’t you dare start, Jonny. I know you can’t stand me but even you can see that this wasn’t entirely my fault-” I snap.
“You were looking for that guy, weren’t you Kayla?” Rich interrupts quickly.
Jonny suddenly walks away; the stage door slams shut behind him.
I look at Rich, “I’m done with you.”
“Fine.”
I follow Jonny’s steps out of the building. Leaving behind the broken band.
VOUS LISEZ
Unique
Roman pour Adolescents“What’s your name?” I say opening the box. “Aaron.” He says staring at what I’m doing. “I’m Kayla. But don’t go around telling people.” “Why not?” A smirk comes back on his face. “Names are too mainstream.” I say unscrewing the bottle, I pour one bo...
