Beyond Saturation

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30 December 2016

There were no words that could describe how horribly embarrassed and humiliated Taehyung felt. 

He had always been someone who didn't like putting his family matters on the streets for everyone to witness. He had always tried his best to solve his matters on his own. If they were unsolvable, he had always tried his best to at least deal with them on his own. 

He never liked it when others involved themselves in his problems, even if they were his own parents or his brother. It made him feel pathetic. Was he not capable of dealing with such a small thing on his own that someone else had to swoop in and solve it for him? That was how he felt when something of such sort happened. 

And thus, he couldn't believe he had brought himself to such a state, now receiving pitiful looks even from Junha. Hell, even Dohyeon was looking at him like he was someone who deserved the entire world's pity. 

And he couldn't live with it. 

He barely remembered what happened the previous night after Yoongi and Hoseok 'rescued' him from his husband. Hoseok applied some ointment on his hand and wrapped a bandage, then Yoongi tried to communicate with him, though he responded to none of his questions, then his brother arrived, sobbed a river, which made Taehyung even more embarrassed, and then Yoongi, Hoseok, Seokjin and Namjoon sat down to discuss what happened as if he were a subject for a case study. 

They cleared each others' 'doubts', all the while Taehyung remained spacing out on the floor, so he wasn't sure exactly what they talked about, but he still hated being the topic of discussion. Especially for such a humiliating reason. 

Around three in the morning, Seokjin and Namjoon decided to return to Daegu. Neither of them asked Taehyung what he wanted, not that Taehyung had a different opinion, because he was just too busy spacing out, but it still stuck to Taehyung's thoughts now. 

When they arrived at Daegu early in the morning, Junha ran towards him at top speed, but skidded to a stop in front of him and then hugged him as gently as he could. Taehyung hugged him back, but he couldn't bear to look Junha in the eye. Not when he realized that his son was pitying him the most. 

Hell, he couldn't even bear to look Yoongi, Hoseok, Namjoon or even Seokjin in the eye. He also remembered that Junha was also present in the video call when he had called Seokjin for help, and now he couldn't even bear to think about it. 

It was like the ultimate disgrace and mortification of his life. 

To be rescued from an abusive household. 

Walking out of the household like he had originally planned to do on the first of January was one thing. Being rescued from it was another. 

He was grateful, there was no doubt, he was very grateful for being safe now, but more than being grateful, he was mortified. Ashamed. 

If there was a chance for him to reverse everything, he would go back and continue his studies instead of stopping at high school. Wasn't that why his parents had agreed to marry him to Jeon Jeongguk, the seemingly changed-to-good person in the first place? 

That way, he wouldn't end up marrying Jeongguk, and then maybe he wouldn't have made so many sacrifices in his life - yes, he now knew the difference between a sacrifice and compromise. He knew it more than anyone else. He now knew how each of those sacrifices had ruined his life beyond repair. How each of them had sucked him lifeless, leaving him dry as hay. 

Anyway, that way, he wouldn't have faced such horrible abuse in just a span of six months, enough to make him lose his voice and mainly his sanity. 

That way, he would have breathed fine all those fourteen years. 

That way, he would still have been smiling. 

"Tae, let's go outside and clear our minds a little, what do you say? You select a place you want to go to," Seokjin asked, bringing him out of his thoughts. He looked away from the plants in the garden that he had been spacing out on, and shrugged. He didn't really care. 

"Think of some pla-"

Taehyung sat up straighter. He did want to go somewhere. He hadn't been so sure before, but he was more than sure now. He hadn't been as sure of something before in his entire life as he was of this one now. 

He wanted to go there. He had to go there. 

He looked at his brother and brought his hand up, moving it up and down wavily. 

Seokjin frowned but didn't take long to realize what Taehyung was trying to say. "Sea? You want to go to the beach?" he asked. Taehyung nodded. "But.....there's no beach he-"

"We can go to the Haeundae Beach," Namjoon suggested, coming to stand behind Seokjin with a hand in his pocket and the other hand holding a mug of coffee. "But you can also take rest at home if you want, Tae," he said. 

Taehyung shook his head firmly. He had made up his mind now. He didn't want to sleep. He didn't need rest now. That was what he was going to do later, anyway. Now he just wanted to go to the beach. 

"Fine, then. We'll go to the Haeundae beach. It's just eleven in the morning now. We'll leave at three, is that okay? We'll be there a little after four. We can spend enough time at the beach, have dinner outside and then return home late at night," Namjoon said. 

Taehyung pursed his lips. There was something else that he wanted to do as well. He was hesitant to ask, but he really wanted to do it. 

"You don't look like that's okay. Is there something else you want to do?" Namjoon asked, noticing Taehyung's hesitancy. 

Taehyung looked around a little, wondering how he was going to get his wish across. A few seconds later, he looked back at Namjoon and mouthed 'Eomma Appa' and then brought his hands up, letting his fingertips touch together to form a roof of sorts. 

"Eomma Appa's house? You wanna visit your parents?" Namjoon asked and received a nod from Taehyung again. "Sure, we can do that, why not," Namjoon said.

Taehyung sighed heavily and looked back at the plants in the garden. Why hadn't he gotten a sweet husband like him? Why did he have to spend fourteen years with a man like Jeongguk?

"Let's do this. It's too late to inform your parents that we would be going for lunch, so let's eat lunch outside and then go to their house, spend time with them and then leave their house at three and go to the beach, spend time there and then have dinner somewhere and then return home. How does that sound?" 

"Perfect," Seokjin said while Taehyung nodded. 

"Okay, then, get ready, chop-chop. We'll leave in half an hour," Namjoon said briskly and walked back in to finish his coffee.