It was a few days before the moon, so Remus was a little on edge...okay maybe not a little, but it's okay he has it all under control. It going to be fine not like he never handled it before. He just got out of the library, holding so many books in his hands and some are in his bag but it doesn't really fit any more books. He walked towards a corridor he knew would be empty enough to hide and read in. "Ouch, fucking shit" and he dropped all of his books on his feet "Remus? Are you okay?" it was Sirius, why does he have to look so gorgeous all the t-for fuck's sake, Remus realized that there is someone else too. It was Sirius's girlfriend, and now He sees both Sirius and her look like they were a little busy and he interrupted them. "Yeah, I'm fine. Sorry, I'm gonna leave just let me take my books." "here, let me help." Sirius said while giving him the books "why do you have so many books?" "I ran out of stuff to read and Lily doesn't have anything interesting." he took the books thanked Sirius and left.
He hates it. He hates this so much, he doesn't like it one bit. That was all Remus was thinking about: how much he hates this. He wasn't concentrating on anything else. He got to the dormitory without really realizing it. "Are you alright?" "Fucking Merlin. You scared me, make noise next time, Padfoot." "Sorry! Didn't mean to frighten you. And I did call you a couple of times." Remus was setting all of his books on his bed and went to change out of his uniform giving Sirius his back. "Sorry, I didn't hear you. Wasn't concentrating." "So are you alright?" "I already told you I'm fine." he in fact was not fine at all "are you sure?" "Yup." he is beginning to get frustrated with Sirius, why was he questioning him so much. "You should go back to your girlfriend, you know it isn't nice to keep a lady waiting." Sirius chuckled a little "yeah, I'm going back I just wanted to see if you were alright." Remus was walking back towards his bed and Sirius was about to leave "Uhm Remus? Before I leave can I ask you something?" Remus stopped "Yeah, of course. shoot" "do you uh have a problem with me and Nicole going out?" "What?" Remus was truly shocked "It's just that ever since she and I started going out you are kinda...not yourself?" "No, I'm fine with you two, why wouldn't I be." he knew it wasn't a very convincing lie and Sirius didn't look convinced at all either "what's the problem then?" Okay, now Remus was so close to losing his shit. "Nothing, everything is fine." he needs to leave or he will start a fight with Sirius. Sirius was quiet for a moment "you know...if you fancy her, you can tell me I don't mind breaking up with her." "I do not fancy her, and I don't have any problems." his voice was getting louder, and Sirius was stepping towards him a little. Oh no, it's going to turn into a fight and it's going to be awful. "Moony, we have been living together since we were eleven, so believe it or not, I know when you're not okay and when you're lying." Sirius's voice was soft, Remus can tell he was trying to keep calm and not make the argument escalate. But Sirius was right, Remus hates the fact that Sirius is going out with someone, but he can't tell Sirius that because he shouldn't feel that way, he should be happy for his best friend. "Sirius please leave." "Not until you tell me what's going on with you." Sirius was stepping closer.
No no no no no, Remus's eyes started to sting and his breathing was getting heavier. Why did Sirius have to do this when he is at his most vulnerable? Fuck, he is standing so close. Don't cry don't cry don't cry don- "Remus, please what is wrong?" "Why the fuck do you care so much?" he knew it was a bad idea to lash out at Sirius but he was almost tearing up now and wanted this whole thing to be over with, Sirius looked a little taken aback by that "what do you mean why I care? You are my friend, of course, I care about you." Remus stayed silent, biting the inside of his cheek trying his hardest not to cry, but it was no use he did start crying, he can't look at Sirius or he will sob and he DEFINITELY doesn't want that, he turned his face and pressed his palms against his eyes to stop any more tears. "Well, that's the problem...we are friends." ah fuckity fuck why did he say that. "Wh-what do you mean?" Remus took a deep breath "I...I don't fancy Nicole." he doesn't like the fact that his voice is quivering why was he even crying. "But I want you to look at me the way you look at her and hold my hand the way you hold hers...kiss me the way you kiss her."
He can't stand anymore, so he sat on the edge of his bed keeping his head down trying to not look at Sirius. "Why don't you fancy me the way I fancy you." why is he fucking crying this much. While he was wiping his tears and trying to regulate his breathing Sirius sat next to him on the bed. "Oh." "Yeah, "oh" " they were both quiet for what felt like ages to Remus and he didn't dare look at Sirius. Why did he say all that why is he like this why can't he just lie like a normal human being. "What makes you think I don't?" Sirius's voice was barely above a whisper and when Remus looked up at him he felt his heart stop for a second because Sirius was looking at him. Remus snorted "oh I don't know the fact that you have a different girlfriend every month, maybe-" "Moony." "or possibly its the fact that you always went silent when I mention my sexuality-" "Moony, hey stop talking." Sirius's put his hand on Remus's cheek, and Remus was screaming inside and almost definitely blushing but he noticed Sirius was blushing as well. Sirius pulled Remus's face closer, slowly "do you mind?" Sirius whispered, "not at all." Remus was pretty sure his heart was going to beat out of his chest, their faces got closer and closer until their lips met. This is fucking amazing, better than Remus could ever imagine. "What are you thinking about?" "I made the Sirius Black blush. After he kissed me " "Oy. I think you needed to be wearing your glasses because I definitely was not blushing." "Also, uh what are you going to tell Nicole?" "I will just break up with her. Tell her it's not working out." Remus looked at Sirius "You don't have to do that...you know if you don't want to go out with me, I understand." "no I want to." Sirius took Remus's hand and laced their fingers. "Because I fancy you the same way you fancy me." "you were blushing."
Ps: I think Remus wears glasses sometimes Kinda like these
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Hiii happy pride month guys, here is wolfstar's first kiss. I haven't wrote in almost a year please excuse this im a little ✨rusty✨ but i really miss writing i forgot how fun it is
