Hello :> the translation will be at the end of the chapter for the French parts <3 + the things typed with this font are Remus's thoughts
Remus was laying in bed, staring at the ceiling. He actually is thinking of what Regulus told him earlier, "he has been properly in love with you like since his fourth year." was it true? And if it is how did he not notice ? Regulus also said that he was attractive. It doesn't make sense, none of this does and it starting to hurt his brain a little.
"Hey, moons? Are you awake?" he heard a little murmuring from outside his curtains.
"Yeah," he said as he sat up and opened the curtains to see Sirius standing in front of him, his hair was pulled back in a bun and he was wearing a cropped top with his PJ pants. Fuck he looks hot. "Scoot over I wanna talk to you," Sirius said still whispering. Remus sat back and pulled his knees up to his chest wrapping his arms around his leg while Sirius sat in front of him.
"So?" "So." "what did you wanna talk about?" "first off are you okay?" Sirius was maintaining eye contact and Remus did not like it, they are sitting so close too "yeah, yeah why wouldn't I be?" "cuz, this evening before you said you are going to the library you were picking at your fingers-in fact you are doing it right now and you gonna get blood on your bed ," Remus honestly didn't even realize his fingers were bleeding "oh shit" Sirius reached over Remus's nightstand and got some plasters and tissues and gave them to him, he was struggling a little because it was dark and he wasn't wearing his glasses "Lumos, here give me." Sirius took his hand and the tissues, wiping the blood gently. Merlin, he looked so good, there was one piece of his hair that fell and it was covering his eye, God, his eyes are just so beautiful, and his lips if he could just- "I can feel you starting ya know." he looked away, embarrassed, his cheeks are turning red "sorry, didn't mean to. Just sorta zoned out" that was a big ass fat lie Remus Lupin.
Sirius chuckled "it's alright. Aaaand we are done." "thank you." "Mhm. Now tell me what's wrong?" He looked up to see Sirius smiling softly "nothing, told you I'm fine." "yeah but Reg wouldn't have just talked to you unless something happened , so what happened?" "Really, it's nothing, we just pumped into each other." "I don't believe you, but alright." Sirius was silent for a while and so was Remus but he didn't say anything because he knew Sirius had other questions, he was just thinking of how to ask them. "Did...did I like...I'm sorry if I embarrassed you in front of Reg or something I didn't mean to, Ya know with my question about you getting with girls and stuff." Remus was surprised by Sirius's apology "what? No of course not, I know your sense of humor, and I know you were just joking" he was picking at his plaster looking down at his hand "would you really not tell me if you got with a girl?" "No obviously, you are my best friend I was just being sarcastic...besides, I don't think you have to worry about that." Sirius looked at him with his eyebrows raised and his face slightly tilted "what do you mean?"
He took a deep breath, time to see if Regulus was correct "I...I don't like girls the same way that you do, I like boys...I'm queer." his eyes were burning but it was not time to cry, not now when Sirius is sitting in front of him. He didn't even dare look at Sirius though "well then you still have to tell me when you get with a boy." shit, why does he have to be nice like this, now he's really going to start tearing up, he rubbed his eyes to try and stop the tears but was surprised to feel Sirius's arms wrap around him, whY TODAY SIRIUS WHY FUCK FUCK WHY IS HE CRYING JUST STOP CRYING and SAY SOMETHING "Moony, relax, it's alright." he slowly wrapped his arms around Sirius who squeezed him tighter. it's not a big deal just a hug, all he has to do is hug him back and not make it weird, except he was still crying, he didn't even know why though; so much was happening at the same time, and it all happened today "thank you, Sirius." he said it so quietly, he wasn't sure if Sirius even heard it, he only squeezed tighter. He has to pull away right now, just pull away, Remus fucking pull away you're going to make it weird just pull. Away. PULL AWAY FOR FUCK'S SAKE "I don't wanna pull away." well, fuck. "You don't have to, moons" "thank you thank you thank you," he can feel Sirius's warm breath on his neck, and it's driving him crazy not being able to do anything about it, fuuuucccckk. "For what?" "for...not hating me, still wanting to be friends with me. I dunno" why is he crying, again? "Nothing would ever make me hate you or want to stop being your friend. Especially something you don't have control over."
"Who is crying?" they heard a sleepy voice say, it was James. That's when he pulled away. Fuck you, James. "No one is crying go back to sleep ya wanker!" he half yelled "Yah ya wanker!" Sirius said imitating his accent "too tired to argue with you right now, I will be back in the morning." "Ya know I'm pretty sure he got like 6th sense about people crying or something, I swear." both he and Sirius cracked up quietly. Remus sniffed before he spoke to Sirius again "uh can you not tell James and Pete? It's not that I'm not going to tell them, just not ready yet," he felt Sirius's warm hand on his cheeks, he is wiping away Remus's tears "of course, anything for you, my love." My love, Sirius called all of their friends love, but he said, my love, my love, my love, I'm his love. Now Regulus could be correct but Remus is definitely not going to make the first move. "Is this why you were upset this evening?" "I wasn't upset though." he was so clearly lying, "alright then I will go to bed, goodnight." Sirius sounded...disappointed. Why though? "Good night." he pulled the curtains closed and laid down again. My love, My love, My love, My love, My love, Sirius's voice kept echoing in his brain. Holy fucking shit what the actual fuck just happened?
