The Lycan King's Muse

Ep 36: The Beast on the Throne

-Lyall-

It's unfair.

People often refer to me as the villain. Other kingdoms, my political opponents, even my own people. The people I trust, the people I have protected, the people I care about.

It's like I can never get a break from being a monster.

They say I killed my stepmother in cold blood. It doesn't matter that she murdered my parents first and then tried to take my life along with the crown, too. It doesn't matter that she used dark magic because all people love to sing in their songs is how the lycan king mutilated his stepmother for revenge.

They say the curse turns me into colder, crueler, that it takes out my heart. Oh, my favorite verse from a famous poet in the kingdom goes like this:

A curse of stone

Turns the king's heart frozen

All hail the beast on the throne

And the worse thing they call me is 'Child Murderer.' It doesn't matter that Adina betrayed me first and almost killed me in the process. It also doesn't matter that the child was actually the real monster born from dark magic. The nickname stays because, for some reason, it is much easier to see me as a villain.

It's unfair.

But I stop caring ever since I put Adina in a magic jail tower. Ever since I realize that the person closest to me can stab me the deepest, I could not give any less fuck to all the nicknames they call me.

Monster.

Villain.

Beast.

Cold-blooded murderer.

And many more.

For years, I think nothing of the nicknames they call me. And with the curse, it's much easier for me to ignore them. Sometimes, I even use the curse to my advantage. It comes really handy, especially in interrogating criminals.

Until a werewolf girl stumbles upon me in the wood and ever since then she has been wrecking my mind with no mercy. I don't think she even realizes that the smallest things she does can make me go crazy.

For the first time in a long time, I hate those nicknames. I don't want her to catch a whiff of all the things they call me because... I don't want her to distance herself from me or to fear me.

Because when she looks at me with her shaky and glistening eyes... when I see her hands tremble in front of me... I... it hurts.

I don't know why, but it feels like my chest was bleeding. I feel the intense pain but not the blood pouring out. The ache is so deep that I can't locate it until it has spread to every inch of my being.

And at that moment, I hate what I am.

I despise the monster that I am, the person who causes Mars to look at me like that.

The smile that I saw her give to that baby she helped deliver seems like a million light-years away now.

Tch.

I scoff to a small chuckle while I descend a spiraling dark stair. There is an oil lamp I can take to light my way, but I prefer the darkness. My senses are sharp enough to get me through the stairs with no light, anyway.

Once I reach the dungeon, I stand before the second dark cell from the stair. The smell of sweat, something rotten, blood, and humid becomes one putrid stench that would assault any lycans' noses. It's truly an unpleasant smell, but I much prefer to stay in this dungeon than look at Mars's face again.