The Lycan King's Muse

Ep 38: Hijacking the Lycan King's Office

"What's with the table and the chair?"

I turn to observe the two items I have brought into the room. A simple and small table with a foldable chair that I took from the academy classroom.

"Uh... I'm setting up my office." I have practiced saying this confidently, but what comes out of me is more like a mumble. Somehow, Lyall can still understand me well. Maybe because the entire room is so quiet. Or perhaps lycans with their better hearings than werewolves can pick up what I say just fine. Or maybe Lyall just has a keen ability to read lips.

Goddess, I am thinking too much. My mind is going millions of miles per hour and I can't stop it.

"Here?" He arches his eyebrows as his smirk grows a bit wider.

"Here." My voice is still small, but at least it's not a mumble anymore.

"And why would you need an office?" His tone is light, but I've gotten to know him well enough that it hides amusement. He finds this funny.

"Because from now on I am going to do my academic work here," I say, "I have done the fieldwork for the month. And what's left is to make some papers, and this is me being too ambitious, but I'm going to make a proposal for a research study."

Lyall raises his eyebrows higher, silently asking me, 'But why here?'

"Those things don't need me to be present in the academy all the time. I only need to go to the academy at least once a week to give a report to Ganesh. And I'd rather do my work... with someone who is also working hard... so I can be motivated as well."

His head tilts a little to the side. Definitely, he is finding this even more amusing. And it is making me more nervous instead.

"And you need some reminding that I am here," I tread lightly with this sentence, "that I am still your Muse or whatever they call me as."

Lyall's smirk turns into a grin. "How did you get past my knights? I told them to forbid you from coming inside."

"Oh, that's Ganesh's and Naver's doing," I say, "They can be quite intimidating but still comedic at the same time."

It's a good sign to have his grin widen, right? That means he is enjoying our banter, right?

"So when I turn my back on you," he says slowly, "you've made two of my council members as your people?"

"Shhh." I put one finger on the lips, not caring to answer his questions anymore because there is a bigger and more urgent lump hiding inside of me. I need to get it out. "Ten minutes of shutting up, remember?"

He is fully smiling now. Even his chest is rumbling a little from soft laughter. "Yes, yes," he chuckles, "And then I can do whatever I want to you, right?"

I gulp, realizing that the words sound so wrong coming out of Lyall's mouth. When I said it before, I intended it for stuff like; maybe he wants to banish me from the kingdom, or maybe he wants to give me back to my old pack. All I need is to tell him first, and then whatever his response will be, I will think of a backup plan later.

In my mind, I repeat the words; I am not stuck. And I am not alone.

Gripping the handkerchief Naver gave me tighter and biting my lower lip, I take deep breaths to gather more courage. My foot keeps moving on its own because of restlessness. I find myself not being able to stare at him straight in the eyes.

Why is this so hard? It's so difficult to be brave all the time, to speak my mind. Why can't I be more assertive and just say it?

Say it! I am even scolding myself, but still, no words come out of my mouth. My tongue is glued.