A returning Echo

Chapter Thirty One

This is the beginning of the second part of the story! I have switched the tenses of verbs that I use because it's how I write most of my stories now

Numbness. Emptiness. Sadness. Grief. Pain. Anger. Regret. And a million more emotions and feelings. You can't help having them, it's only natural. Everyone else in the galaxy is allowed to feel them, to let them affect you. Everyone except the Jedi, which you are a part of. It isn't that you can't feel them, but that you can't let them get a hold of you, you can't let them control your actions. Something that, surprisingly, you've found easier than you thought you would.

It isn't that you're able to ignore how you feel, it's that you can't process it. You won't let yourself accept that you're feeling them, because you know it will break you. You know it will be unbearable, and not even the comfort of those closest to you could help dull the pain you'd feel. You can't accept that he's really gone, because if you do, that would mean he's not your returning echo.

Now, it's been two standard weeks since the Citadel mission, two standard weeks since Echo hadn't returned. Two standard weeks of forcing yourself out of bed and to do your duties. The Council has kept you here on Coruscant, wanting you to get some sort of grasp on your emotions before letting you back out into battle, and it's driving you insane. Being here, seeing everything that reminded you of him, hurts. You want out and you want away.

As you make your way to your kitchen, your holotransceiver starts going off, and so you answer it as you begin to prepare your breakfast.

"Goodmorning, Master Jinn," Mace says as you answer, "the Council would like you to come speak with us in a little while. Would you be able to do so?"

"Well I don't really have anything else to do," you reply, and he nods.

"I wasn't sure if you possibly had some royal matters to attend to. Can we expect you by 1000 hours?" You glance at a nearby chronometer, checking the current time before responding.

"Yeah," you say, "I should be ready by then. Can I ask you what this meeting will be about?"

"Something for you to do," he replies, a certain smile coming to his lips. "Don't worry, I think you'll enjoy it."

"Will it get me off of this planet?"

"Yes, it will."

"Good. I'll see you in a little bit then," you say, and you turn to refocus on your cooking, but hear Mace clear his throat. You look at him, raising an eyebrow as his expression changes.

"Y/n," he starts, his tone more sincere now, "how are you doing?"

"I'm fi-"

"Don't lie to me, y/n. I was good friends with your father, you share many of the same tells as him." You look at him for a moment, thinking over whether or not you want to open up to him. You sigh, turning to plate your food before sitting.

"There's just...a lot that isn't happening anymore. We...we had plans. Hopes. There's things he didn't know."

"Have you told others?"

"Yeah, but...it isn't the same. They're not the ones who deserve to know. This...I should have told him before he left."

"Why didn't you?" Mace asks, and you let out a small huff.

"I knew going to the Citadel was dangerous. In my mind, I convinced myself that if I kept it from him, if I told him he had to come back to know, that he'd survive. He'd be safe." Hearing yourself admit this, you know it sounds stupid. You know it was stupid of you to hope, to keep it from him. But you'd been desperate, and now you're paying the price.