You're a Badger, Harry

20: You Need New Glasses, Harry

Summary: The students and teachers aren't the only ones that should fear Harry

Harry prided himself in many things. Being bisexual was one of them. Landing smoothly after being Apparated was not.

"You okay?" asked Sirius, staring down at his godson facedown on the earth.

"Yeah, I'm good. I just, er, really like dirt. That is all."

Remus hauled him to his feet. "Come on, you drama queen. We have a game to attend to."

The Quidditch World Cup went exactly as Harry last remembered, with the obvious exception of Sirius and Remus being there. Remus swore more than Harry had ever heard him swear, and Sirius kept forgetting to switch his Omnioculars back to normal speed.

When Krum inevitably caught the Snitch, Fred and George scrambled over to Ludo Bagman with their arms outstretched.

Harry made a big show of sniffing the air. "Is that...? No, Bagman, you wouldn't."

Bagman stiffened. "I'm sorry, Harry, I'm afraid I do not know what you are referring to." But his eyes darted nervously around at Fudge.

"Hm... My Hufflepuff senses are finding that hard to believe." Harry stepped forward to peer more closely at the coins in Fred's hands. "Huh," he said. "I'll be the first to admit I'm no expert, but these look a lot like those leprechaun coins from earlier."

Fudge frowned at Bagman, whose forehead was glistening with sweat. "Is that true?"

"I — of course not! Harry doesn't know what's talking about!"

"Oh, of course!" Harry laughed and started heading for the stairs. "My apologies, Bagman. You see, this is why Sirius has been telling me I need new glasses. These are a bit outdated. Cheers!"

He skipped out of the Top Box, leaving a spluttering, panicked Bagman and several unhappy people behind.

Harry slurped his smoothie absently, mind replaying the moment the Dark Mark went up again and again. There had been something different about it, but for the life of him, Harry couldn't figure out what.

At least with Remus returning to Hogwarts to start up a D.A.D.A. club, there would be a smaller chance of his name coming out of the goblet. There was officially no professor teaching that class due to the jinx Voldemort had put on it. But Harry and his friends weren't the most awesomest people in the world for nothing; they figured that by making Remus the overseer of a club instead of a required class, they could circumvent the jinx.

He let out a long sigh, his breath fogging the window.

"Bored?" asked Ron, who was playing chess with Crookshanks. Well, trying to. Crookshanks was sweeping his tail lazily about and pushing pieces left and right while Ron maneuvered around them. Somehow, Ron was still winning.

"Mhm."

Draco rolled his eyes. "What else is new?"

"Well, it's not like there's much to do," Hermione pointed out. "Except for Harry to do... whatever he does."

Harry just took another sip from his straw, which was looped around his eyes like glasses. Unlike the Muggle ones, this pair had his prescription lenses, which made them all the more fun. He wished the train had more to do on it. Beside getting snacks from the trolley and entertaining yourself with whatever you or your friends had, there wasn't much.

He sighed. "I was hoping to save this for later." Harry pulled out his guitar (from... somewhere...) and began to play. Badly.

Baby, lock the door and turn the lights down low

The compartment door slid open as Harry continued singing. Ginny poked her head in, Luna, Kyra, and Jayson peeking around her with some difficulty.

"Guess who just had a brilliant idea?" said Ginny.

Harry stopped playing. "I wasn't aware there was another Harry Potter on this train."

"Maybe not on the train," piped up Luna. "But there might be seven doppelgängers of you out there."

"Seven Harry Potters?" Draco shuddered. "That sounds horrid."

Harry bit back the grin that was threatening to show itself and continued playing.

Yeah, I'm gonna take my horse to the old town road
I'm gonna ride 'til I can't no more

"So what's the idea?" Ron asked.

Jayson held up his phone. "I am going to blast the most annoying music I can find. Just give us a sec. Nice glasses by the way, Harry."

The four of them disappeared, shutting the compartment door as they went. A few moments later, the entire train was assaulted with Caramelldansen.

Harry snorted. "He called this annoying? It's a bop!" He removed his silly straw glasses and replaced them with a regular pair, only this one had pink, purple, and blue shades.

Suddenly, he gasped and smacked Ron on the arm.

"Ow! What the hell?"

"I have a brilliant idea!"

His friends collectively winced.

*rubs hands together gleefully*

Songs in fic (I think I'm gonna start doing this from now on): "Your Man" by Josh Turner, "Old Town Road" by Lil Nas X, "Caramelldansen" by Caramella Girls