I was an empty girl, with a void in the shape of my heart that nobody could fill.
Nobody but that broken boy, with those piercing green eyes whose smile couldn't reach them.
Without realizing it, his calloused and rough hands were the first to disco...
"I had a nightmare," Jo whispers into the room. She hadn't told me, but I suspected it.
We're both lying on the bed now, quiet. I have her body tucked into mine, her head resting against my chest, and my arms tighten around her frame at her words. Our legs laced with each other. I love every time this happens.
Before leaving the kitchen, I asked her if she wanted to go on a late night drive, thought that might cheer her up. She shook her head, refusing. Instead, she told me she wanted to lie back down with me.
"Do you want to tell me about it?" I ask her. We were supposed to try getting some sleep, but I don't think Jo has even attempted to sleep. And I won't fall asleep until I'm certain she is.
"I wish, but I just can't remember what happened now. I just know there was blood. It wasn't me in the nightmare...or maybe it was." She says slowly, trying to work through her memory. "I saw a little girl that...now that I think about it, she kind of resembles me as a kid."
I nod, letting her know I'm listening. "What were you doing in your dream?"
"I just-I know we were laughing and suddenly that's all there is. The image pauses there. I don't know what...how...the blood...it was on her-"
"Hey, it's okay." I cut her off, not wanting her to make her relive it. "Shh, it was just a nightmare. You're safe now." I bring my hand to the back of her head and snuggle her closer against my body. Jo buries her face in my neck as her fingers tighten around my t-shirt.
"Breathe, love. You're safe now." I tell her again soothingly, refraining to ask who she refers by 'we' or 'her'.
She sheepishly unburies her head to let me look at her. We're so close, I notice the way her wet eyelashes are tangled up with each other. And I instantly resent the shimmer of tears in her eyes, it doesn't belong there.
The expression in her face, brimming of fear and vulnerability, only expands the pressure on my chest, making it unbearable for me not to kiss her. My body demands I kiss her.
I do, I give her the sweetest and gentlest of pecks. She's caught off guard when I brush my lips against hers, but I soon feel her arms tugging me closer, even as there's no more space between us.
We draw apart as she rests her forehead over mine. Her tears have stopped, but her breathing is still unsteady. It's clear that she's still quite upset.
"Breathe with me, okay?" I tell her. She nods.
"Take a deep breath counting to five..."
"Now hold it in and count again to five..."
"Release it with me, sweetheart." I feel her chest rising and falling against mine in the same pace.
"You're doing great my love. Now, let's go again." I coach her breathing until, slowly, her eyes start dropping close, her breathing going back to normal, and her arms become looser around me.
I make sure to hold her extra tight as she sleeps. Cradling her head as softly as a lover's whisper, so she doesn't stir awake. Taking care of her with my whole heart, plus a bit of something more- what's left of my soul.
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