In This Town

march 17, 2022

Alexa•

I've missed it. The salty air, warm breeze, and beaches of California aren't replaceable. Now that I'm back, I realized that maybe getting away really was for the better. That so many things were avoided. It definitely wasn't easy, but it was easier.

Moving back into your childhood neighborhood, when you're now 25, and have a child of your own, kind of feels full circle.

For all five years of her life, Evie hasn't know anything but Texas. California is a whole new world for her; and an old one for me.

As we walk through the neighborhood, I admire the things I didn't notice then.

How beautiful the setting sun looks, the immense amount of palm trees, how it can be 8:30pm and people will be coming back from a day of surfing. It feels so normal, and so strange, all at once.

It's a sense of comfort, that's only comfortable here, and now.

I wonder how many people who lived here then, are gone now. How many people have stayed?

We walk past a cute pink house. One that i've adored since I was probably around Evies age. It belonged to one of my moms best friends, Jenni. She would let him and I borrow her kids surfboards, after they had all moved out. In return, we had to take her dog on walks.

That was probably one of the best summers of my life. We didn't have a single care in the world, besides who would get the biggest wave, and have bragging rights for the rest of the week.

Back when things hadn't changed yet.

The house just next door, his house.

The days and nights we'd spend there, talking about the future we were sure we'd share. What we planned on doing after college, the kind of jobs we had wished for as kids. The cars we would buy if we had the money for them. Where we would want to live. All the things you can imagine.

But then everything changed, because he was going to college thousands of miles away, and I couldn't bare to see myself become a burden in his life. Especially with what I was hiding from him.

"Mom!" Evie tugs at my arm. "He has a pink surf board!" She smiles, pointing at the board. The blond boy turns around.

"Yes he does honey. Don't point, it's not kind." I tell her, as we continue to walk.

"Can I get a pink one?" She asks. I can't help but smile.

"Sure thing. That's just where we're going, isn't it?" I question.

"Yup!" She happily skips in front of me, without a care in the world. It's just me and her.

We turn the corner, met by the familiar city of Malibu.

The small surf shop on the corner between the neighborhood, and the big city, is one that's been open for years. It's had plenty of different names, but it's always been the same little shop.

Now, it's called Sin and Surf, different from Porters Boards, when I lived here.

We walk in, the fresh smell of wax, and wood, makes me feel like I'm officially home. This is what California is about.

"Woahhh! Babe alert!" A young woman, probably in her early twenties, shouts, as Evie and I walk through the shop.

"Sadie, what did I say about calling people babes?!" A man, around my age laughs, turning the corner, nearly running into Evie.

"Oh god, I am so sorry sweetheart," He apologizes to her. "I didn't even see you there. But who's this pretty lady with ya?" He smiles, his sunglasses move from his eyes to his hairline.

"This is my mom! We're getting a pink surfboard!" My daughter cheerfully says.

"Should we go find you a pink board?" I say, ignoring the man's last remark.

"I've got the best pink board in the city. It's brand new too! You want to see it?" The girl, Sadie, asks Evie. She jumps up and down, pulling at my arm.

"Can I can I can I?" She squeals.

"Let's go give it a look." I agree.

"Sadie's good with her if you want to look at some boards yourself doll." He smirks. My cheeks stain red, a small smile creeping onto my lips.

"Eves, are you okay for a second?" I ask her.

"Mhm!" She smiles.

Sadie and Evie walk over to one of the windows, a beautiful pink board, on perfect display. It looks just like the one I had when I was younger.

"What kind of board are we looking for?" The man questions, motioning me to follow him through the store.

"Nothing specific. I've actually got one at home, but Evies new around here, so she definitely needs one." I smile.

"Of course. Little babes gotta surf too." He says. "I'm Finn by the way. And what's your name?"

"Alexa." I tell him.

"A beautiful name for an equally beautiful woman." He flirts.

"Thank you. It's good to meet you Finn." I say, as the bells on the door ring.

"Hey Sadie, is Finn working today. He will not believe what I-" A man's voice excitedly says. It sounds all too familiar.

"Yeah he's helping out a total babe over there," She tells him.

"Sweet!" The footsteps get louder, the clicking of his sandals giving away his exact position.

He turns the corner, rubbing his hand though his gorgeous brown locks.

"So you know that girl, the one from," He pauses, as we make eye contact.

"James, not a good time dud-"

"Alexa?" He questions. I'm glued to the floor, my mouth refuses to open, and my eyes not believing what they're seeing.

"I'm sensing some serious tension right now," Finn nervously laughs.

"Evie," I back away from the two boys, searching for my daughter. "Eves let's get going honey. You've got a long day tomorrow." I anxiously say.

"But mom-"

"We can come back later, but we've got to get home before it gets too late." I scoop her up into my arms, taking one last look at him, before heading back home.