LESSON #3

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It was hard telling my mother about what I had done

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It was hard telling my mother about what I had done. I knew that she would be disappointed in me and hate me for killing the love of her life. But I needed her to understand that it was for the best. She didn't take the news well and she slapped me. But after crying out all the tears that she could, she told me that she understood.

I had to protect myself and the family name

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I had to protect myself and the family name. I wouldn't let my father take that from us because that's all that we had left. She knew that it hurt me because I loved my father. I wanted him to be a real father to me instead of being my boss. I wanted him to look at me and value me as his son. I did everything that I could to make him proud, but never even got a good job son. He controlled every part of my life, even my future without me knowing. My father was my idol and I looked up to him. I would've never thought that he would be the one to cause me so much pain and suffering. He made me into the person that I am today but now that he was gone I feel like I could be myself. I wasn't putting all the blame on him though because there were times when I was just a fucked-up person because I wanted to be. I hurt Athena because I wanted to. I wanted to be with her so badly and I hated that I couldn't. I wanted to punish her for not being fully Italian. The truth is...No, I don't see myself changing overnight and I know that it will take time, but I'm open to it. I learned a lot after my father died. I wanted to try to learn from my mistakes. So, I decided to visit Isabella and Alondra, and Chiara's graves. When I buried them, I never thought that I would come back again. But I felt like this was going to be my step in the right direction to heal myself. So, I left them all flowers and I told Isabella that I loved her. I sat and talked with her for a while and even told her how I had fallen in love again. I told her all about Athena and how I treated her. But I was no longer hiding from my feelings and the things that I desired. Athena was happily married and there was nothing that I could do about it now. But I loved her and even though I didn't love her correctly, I'm glad that I let her go. It wasn't meant for me and her to be together, and that's why I did everything that I could to make sure that she found her way back to Satoni. I stood up and started to walk back towards my car. I had sat here long enough and there were still a few things that I wanted to do. As I reached my car I frowned when I saw Aya standing there. I thought that she had left, I didn't understand why she was still here.

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