Cold and Ash

chapter 18

The next three days were spent on funeral arrangements, receiving condolences and settling legal issues. I was finally accepting what had happened and trying to be present in making decisions. Mr. Oliver had also arrived the very next day and helped me in paying all the expenses.

Overwhelmed with gratitude; I vowed to him that I would pay every penny back, but he just shook his head and asserted that he would never take money from me. Tears had filled with my eyes as he had hugged me and assured me he will support me in everything I needed.

We were again back home, when Mr. Arthur asked me, "Are you sure you want the burial to be tomorrow?"

We were sitting in the drawing room as sunlight gently flooded in. I had scarcely looked at him or spoken to him all morning.

"Yes," I said. "Alis will arrive tomorrow. We cannot proceed without her."

Mr. Arthur nodded and looked at me.

"Is there anything else?" he asked. His eyes trailing over me. I knew what he saw. Someone who looked like a ghost, who had gotten thinner and hollower. I detested that he looked at me as if he were responsible for my current state. I didn't willingly want his charity or anything else from him. I had made my decisions just as he had made his. Whatever the outcomes might be.

"No," I gritted out.

His eyes snapped to mine on sensing my tone. "I know you want me to disappear Miss Simpson, but I won't. If you want anything that I can help you with, just say it and stop being stubborn," He said annoyed.

"Why won't you?" I asked. He raised an eyebrow and waited for me to elaborate.

"Disappear?"  I wanted to know the answer. He didn't even protest when I had left. Yet he had helped me from afar. He didn't say anything, and something flashed in his eyes as he got up and walked up-to me. Crouching down next to me, he gave me a look.

"You know you really get on my nerves sometimes, Miss Simpson," He said sarcastically. "And I wished you would disappear on so many occasions now that I lost count."

I glared at him but he continued unfazed.

"And then the one time you actually do decide to disappear—it is the one time I wish you hadn't," he said quietly. I was too stunned to say anything. He abruptly stood up and extended his hand.

"Consider this revenge now for not listening."

I stood up in anger and without paying him any heed, left the room.

I needed clothes for the funeral and had to go home in order to get them. I asked Mrs. Harvey if a carriage was available. And on hearing this Mr. Arthur declared: he would take me to the house. Now I was beyond irritated. What had happened to him?

Mr. Arthur followed me around the house and silently observed everything. When I was placing my clothes in the bag in my room, I heard him come in. He looked around. His eyes eyes didn't reveal anything as they fell on my books, then my torn carpet, my bed, and then me.

Blinking, he walked towards me.

"Let me take that," He said, pulling the handle of the bag from me.

"No, I will carry it," I snapped. Attempting to snatch it back.

"Miss Simpson, stop being stubborn!" he gave it a hard tug and a picture frame I had placed in the bag crashed to the floor.

"No!" I crouched down, trying to pick the picture up from the pieces of glass that had scattered everywhere. In the process I cut myself and hissed. Biting my lips, I tried to suppress a scream as my gaze got cloudy.