Freya Eaton- "Four's" Sister

Chapter 10: Newfound Strength

I winced as I sat up in bed, shaking. The sweat on the back of my nightgown stuck to the gory lacerations on my back, and I felt the need to run. Far far away from this house of Hades. To someplace new. Different. But Freya, I thought, today is the day you can leave this all behind. Leave your pathetic excuse for a father to wallow in his own misery. No! A voice said. You're to weak to belong anywhere except Abnegation. You'll never amount to anything. I pushed the thoughts out of my head and peered out of the simple square window. Peering out at the sun rising over the horizon, I thought of Tobias. He was no doubt outrunning trains and jumping off skyscrapers. The real question was if I really wanted to see Tobias. The past two years have been a hell on earth for me, and I can't help but blame him for it. My thoughts then turned to my mother. Beautiful Evelyn. I was so young, just a little girl when she died. Part of me wanted to believe that she was out there somewhere, waiting forever to find her. But I knew that was impossible.
I got out of bed and limped to the bathroom, still feeling a bit disoriented from the night before. I cleaned my teeth and then got into the shower. Cold as usual. What am I going to choose? At this point there were really two distinct choices: stay in Abnegation in the familiar atmosphere that I have always known, or follow my brother to Dauntless. To a new world filled with uncertainty and surprises. My father, I mean, Marcus, (he surely does not deserve to be called my father) will be announcing at the ceremony tonight. Oh how I would feel to stare into his cold, lifeless eyes as I squeezed my hand over the coals, hearing the sizzle echo throughout the room. He would no longer be able to control me then.
Once I had gotten out and dried myself off, I picked out one of the same boring dresses that I have worn every day of my miserable life. Putting my hair up, into a bun, I decided to look in the mirror just this once. It was the last day of being in Abnegation anyway. All that I saw staring back at me was a broken, abused, and useless teenage girl. I wasn't particularly pretty. At least, I don't think I had any features that stood out. And the dark circles and bloodshot eyes didn't really help. I like to think that I look like my mother, though. Perhaps I will be reminded of her whenever I look in the mirror in my new life.
I closed the panel that covered the mirror and went downstairs, to find my father sitting in the familiar armchair.
"Good morning, sir." I greeted him with a little bow. It killed me inside to be afraid of him just as a cowardly dog would. You'll show him Freya, you'll show that monster.
"I trust that you'll make the right choice today." He said, void of all emotion.
"Yes, sir." I replied as I was about to make some oatmeal.
"Come give me a hug." He said, and his voice rang through the silence.
Confused, but terrified of what would happen if I disobeyed him, I walked over to him and he embraced me almost gently. I didn't feel any life or love in his body. I wasn't even sure if he was even capable of truly loving someone. Just as I dared to pull away, his rough and worn hands were clasped tightly around me neck. His face was a mix of rage and excitement. At first I thought that if I just stayed still, he would stop and tell me something like, "This is for your own good," but he didn't. I had to fight back for my own life. I lifted up my leg and kicked him in the groin area, and he released his grip and cried out in pain.
"I hope you burn in hell." I told him, and ran out the door.